Diaries :Journey from hatred to love

Kashaf 03 January

Zaroon itna bura bhi nahi hai jitna main samjhti thi ya yeh keh sakte hai uski tabdeeli ne mujhe aisa kehne par majboor kar diya hai. Aaj jab main uski cabin mein gayi apna isteefa le kar toh usne mujhe hairan kar diya.
"Mr.Junaid mujhe ap se zaruri baat karni hai."
"Kashaf main ap ke hi cabin aa raha tha. Isse pehle ki aap mujhse kuch kahe main kuch kehna chahunga."
Maine usko sunne ka faisla kiya.
"Main..asal mein..main apse mazerat karna chah raha tha."
"Mazerat?"
Maine hairani se uske taraf dekha.
"Haan Kashaf mujhe apni har us harqat ke liye maafi chahiye jisse apko takleef hui hai aur kal jo hua uske liye main bohot sharminda hoon. Mujhe nahi chillana chahiye tha ap par aise. Ho sake toh mujhe maaf kar dijiyega."
Uski baatein sun ke ek pal ke liye toh laga ki main yakeenan sapna dekh rahe hoon magar wo sach tha. Wo waqai mein sharminda tha. Aaj uske chehre par maine kuch alag notice kiya. Woh pehle se zyada mature aur sanjeeda lag raha tha. Main asmanjas mein hi thi ki usne phir toka
"Kuch kahogi nahi?"
"Sir main har us cheez ke liye toh maafi nahi mangne wali kyun ki mera dil ap jitna bada nahi hai. Magar kal meri galti thi aur main maafi mangne hi ayi hoon isliye isteefa bhi saath layi hoon. Isme maine apni yeh laparwahi ko isteefe ka wajah bataya hai. Main apni galti ki puri responsibility le rahi hoon."
Maine apna isteefa age badhate huye kaha.
"Kashaf main apka yeh isteefa kabul nahi karunga. Ap ek kabil employ hai aur sirf ek galti ke liye apko yeh naukri nahi chorni chahiye."
"Magar sir.."
Ajib baat hai aaj pehli baar maine use sir keh kar pukara tha. Main hamesha use Mr.junaid hi keh kar bulati thi kyu ki meri soch thi use sir kehna mere liye ek tauheen hogi.
"Yeh baat yehi khatam hui. Aap please ab kaam shuru kar dein." Bina kuch kahe bas sar hila kar main uske cabin se nikal gayi.
Bohot ajib lag raha hai kyun ki aaj main diary mein Zaroon ka zikr toh kar rahi hoon magar uski burai nahi. Kuch chizon ki adat ho jati hai shayad aur shayad Karachi aane ke baad se ek bhi din nahi guzra hoga jab maine apni diary mein uska zikr nahi kiya ho. Zindagi mein jitni gaaliyan mere muh se nikli hai woh bas is shaks ke liye hi nikli hai. Kabhi socha nahi tha ki yeh din bhi ayega. Usne bohot galat harqate ki hai. Par aaj usne jis tarah se mujhse maafi mangi hai main uski izzat karne lagi hoon bohot nahi par todhi bohot to zarur. Lekin main abhi bhi us purane arrogant,flirt,beparwah,ziddi Zaroon se nafrat karti hoon. Zaroon mein tabdili kisi modze se kam nahi hai. Khair ab ye sab maazi ki baatein hai magar iska matlab yeh nahi ki mere behaviour mein koi badlav ayega uske hawale se , farq bas itna hoga ki main ab usse bura bhala nahi kahungi magar tabhi tak jab tak uska behaviour aisa hi rahe.Zabardasti ke jhagre toh main karti bhi nahi thi. Haan kafi zalil kiya hai maine use par woh unka haqdar tha. Maine use kabhi nuksan nahi pohchane ki koshish ki. Dekha jaye toh usne bhi kuch nuksan pohnchane ki koshish nahi ki agar woh mera nuksan hi chahta toh kal hi mujhe naukri se nikal deta.Khair usne maafi toh mang li hai . Ab yeh sab soch ke kya faida. Good night diary aaj ek aur sukun bhari raat hone wali hai.