MissTaken || Englot || On going

𝓒𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓽𝓮𝓻 13 : 𝓝𝓸𝓽 𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓮𝓪𝓼𝔂

Charlotte's POV

As the days unfolded, the bond between me and Engfa grew stronger, making me more anxious. The more I spend time with her, the more I become drawn to her compassion and dedication towards her career. And the more I wonder if love comes again...

Even after a long day of classes, she never failed to accompany me and treat me kindly although I behaved sombre. Every time we discussed our work, Fa always let her laughter fill the air, maybe to loosen up the tension between us because honestly, the feeling I had been trying to suppress was just too much.

It was a feeling that made my heart flutter and my thoughts become jumbled whenever Fa was near, causing me to behave unnaturally.

However, because Engfa was oblivious to my inner turmoil, she leaned back in her chair and gazed thoughtfully out of the window. "You know, Char," she said, her voice soft, "I've been thinking a lot lately about myself... specifically about love and relationships."

As soon as I heard her say that, my heart unknowingly skipped a beat before defending itself to calm down. "Oh? What about it?" I let out a small voice.

Fa turned to face me, her eyes bright with curiosity. "I've always thought love was this magical, all-encompassing thing, but recently, I've been questioning if it's as simple as we've been led to believe."

My heart sank. I had been grappling with my feelings, convinced that my attraction to Engfa was wrong. It's only myself getting impressed by her as a celebrity, and nothing more than that. It was just a simple crush between a fan and a celebrity.

Note that growing up in a conservative community, before my mom revealed her true self and divorced my religious father, I had been taught that love between two women was sinful and against the teachings I had been raised with. These beliefs had been ingrained in me from a young age, leaving me feeling trapped and confused.

The inner turmoil grew as I wondered if defying my faith's prohibitions was an act of rebellion or a necessary step towards understanding her truths. I mean how could I do such defiance...

"Char?" Engfa's voice brought me back to the present. "Are you okay? You seemed out of it,"

Forcing myself a smile to try to mask my inner conflict, I lied to her, "Yeah, I'm fine. Just a bit tired, I guess."

Engfa seemed to accept this, and we continued their conversation, but my mind was still a whirlwind of emotions. Though she didn't drop anything that made me mindblown, I could sense her attraction towards me romantically. To avoid this situation, I excused myself from her just because I didn't want to hear anything from her that could ruin our current bond.

...

After a week, I attempted to distance myself from Fa, hoping her feelings would fade. I avoided the library and the dance room and even when Fa was there, I became less communicative to escape the emotional turmoil.

When my luck ran out, Fa noticed my obvious avoidance and confronted me about it. But, I brushed it off with vague excuses about being overwhelmed with work.

At first, I thought she was going to buy my answer because indeed I looked quite stressed when judged by my face alone.

Feeling concerned, Fa said gently, "Char, we need to talk." As she held my hand to bring me to the nearby cafe, I hesitated since it was raining heavily outside, but then agreed to talk with her.

We sat together at the cafe, and the atmosphere was getting cosy due to the room being dimly lit by a small lamp. Yet, Fa's presence was the one that made me think otherwise because I was scared of what she was about to ask.