Not Good Enough

Austria-October

October 3, 4:53 P.M.

Diary-

Today does not equal a good day. Today equals one of the very worst days I've ever had. So, today in AP Bio, Ileana burned half of my hair off. I've been growing it out and it had almost reached my butt, but as always Lea decides to ruin my day. So now my "long locks" as my mom called them are now cut evenly with layers, thanks to a heartfelt hair dresser who realized that my hair was caught on fire. Thankfully, she didn't ask how. She actually didn't say much of anything, but that's probably a good thing because I would've just started to cry even harder. I have Bio 3rd period too, so I had to leave school right in the middle of the hour and tell my mum about it. I don't tell her or Dad about Ileana and her stupid groupies because I don't want them to worry over nothing. I'm not some baby that goes and cries to her parents, so everybody is better off with them just unknowing of it all. So I told them it was an accident. It was just long and in the way and I didn't even notice until I smelled it. Oh my diary, you are lucky you can't smell because if you smelled my hair you would've died. It was the worst thing I have ever inhaled into my body. Mr. Todd, my Bio teacher, had all the student leave the room because it smelled so bad! So that's when I ran out as well heading to the office, already crying over the loss. I had so much damage to my hair, the only thing the hair stylist could do was cut it all off. Just keep cutting until it looked decently acceptable. She cut off 18 inches!!! Once she told me, I started to cry even harder, as if it was possible! She told me it would look best if I straightened it, so that's what she did. When she was finally done she asked me if I wanted to see it, but I was such a mess I just wanted to go home, refusing the offer. My mother payed and thanked her profusely and we left. All night long Mum was trying to persuade me to just look in a mirror because I would "fall in love," but every time I passed by one, I averted my gaze and kept walking. I did finally get in the shower though and washed it because I still smelled the singed hairs. When I was scrubbing the shampoo in my hair, it abruptly stopped and I was in a shock for a millisecond. I couldn't handle that any more than I could looking in the mirror. I quickly finished my shower and crawled into bed. And now here I am, telling you it all; I still haven't seen my new hairdo.

-Liz 5:36 P.M.

Oct. 15, 10:09 A.M.

Diary-

I haven't written in here for almost 2 weeks! Wow, I think that's been the longest time. Okay, so I have a lot to catch you up on. The day after my unexpected hair cut, in the morning was when I first looked at it. I thought that even if my hair looked terrible then that didn't mean my face had to too. So I put on my make up, inevitably having to look at my head. Well, I literally passed out and I woke up 3 hours later in the ER with an oxygen pump attached to me. Soo.. My mom thought I died and rushed me to the hospital. It only became funny after they unplugged everything and I told her how I really passed out. I was shocked that much to see my hair. It was so amazing! So short and light and NEW! I always loved change but not exactly on my body. But THIS is what I'm talking about!! I actually thought about thanking that little tramp (pardon my French) but I decided against it. But instead I did rock a new outfit the day i went back ( 2 days later) and made my hair luscious.

3 days after I got back to school, my 17 year old cat and 14 month old puppy both died on the same day. They were so close and bonded so well that I think little Sammy (my puppy) died from his heartache because Quackers (my cat) had just been found dead. Sammy stayed right by Quackers's side up until his last breath. I was more than heartbroken. This is burnt hair, breakfast pastry, and my broken wrist 3 years ago all rolled into one. I didn't go to school for a week. Some may think that that's overboard or dramatic but those were some of the only good things in my life. Them and my parents. And now all I have is my parents. In total, that was most of my time away from you. I'm still trying to get over it all, so I'll probably be a little bit longer in the next time I write.

-Liz 10:27 P.M.

Oct. 24, 11:54 P.M.

Diary-

Tonight was my school's Halloween Bash. Of course, I didn't go. You can only go if you have a date and Ileana made sure that no guy would be "dumb enough" to ask me. Of course, the perfect queen is student body president, which means she can say whatever she wants whenever she wants into the school's megaphone (that can be heard in every square inch of campus. ) I was gone at a dentist appointment fortunately, or else I think I really would have died from embarrassment. I heard from some girls in my gym class about it. They told me everything, down to even the snickers of the crowd, but I still didn't trouble myself with learning their names. I may not know everybody's name in the school, but they sure as heck know mine, thanks to her. Ileana lso made sure of that. She posted fliers up on every locker in the building that my "loser-ness" is contagious and can even be spread just by talking. Ileana went through all of that trouble, and for what? Just to see me miserable. Well, mission accomplished. It worked..

-Liz Oct. 25, 12:18 A.M.