Dance Academy - Heart To Heart

Chapter 2

Tara

So that was it. His dad abandoning him, his mom dying, his brother leaving him to fend for himself, her not accepting him for who he was, for unintentionally bringing back all those painful memories. It was too much. How could she have been so thoughtless? Maybe she hadn't known all the details, but she knew his dad was a sore subject and she just plowed ahead anyway, not considering how it would make Christian feel. No wonder he had dumped her for Kat. Kat always knew the perfect thing to say or do. She was so cool and never worried what people thought about her. Tara thought too much. It was all she ever did. It was hard for her to live in the moment and just be happy. There was always something to fix. Or someone.

Hit with this realization, her breath caught in her throat and the tears started to flow again. Not angry ones like before, but sad ones. It was her fault. He had loved her and she had thrown it all away simply because she couldn't leave well enough alone! If only she could have stopped herself, resisted the urge to control everything and everyone... things might have turned out differently. This time it was her turn to say it.

"I'm sorry," she murmured softly.

"For what?" Christian asked, a look of confusion on his face.

"For trying to fix you, change you. For seeing you as a project and not as a person. For putting everything ahead of us, not taking the time to be there for you when you needed it... like Kat was. It's all my fault. It was always my fault! If I could have just let it be and enjoyed the time I had with you, maybe we would still be together! I ruined everything!"

"Hey, come here," Christian said softly, and she immediately melted into him.

He held her tightly and ran his fingers through her hair as she sobbed quietly into his chest. She wrapped her arms around him, savoring his warmth. When he held her like this, she felt safe, protected from every bad thing that had happened this year. She wasn't sure how long they stood there, but she didn't care. She didn't want to let go and hoped he didn't either. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply. Now that she was in his arms, his scent was even more intense than before. It made her think of all the good times: learning to trust each other in pas de deux, kissing on the beach after playing cricket and then again on the ferry, spending the summer with him on the farm, falling in love. It made all the bad times seem so far away, almost as if they didn't happen. Almost.

"Tara, what happened wasn't your fault. You were only trying to help me. Yeah sure, maybe you went about it in the wrong way, but it came from your heart, like everything you do." He pulled back, smiling slightly, and moved his hands up to hold her face, wiping away her tears with his thumbs.

Then his expression became serious and, looking deep into her eyes, he said, "I should have understood that you weren't doing it to hurt me. I overreacted but by the time I realized that, it was too late. I'm so sorry about Kat. It all happened so fast. One minute she was sitting down and the next thing I knew I was kissing her. When she stopped it, I couldn't believe what I had done! Part of me wanted to take it back, but the other part, the selfish part, didn't because it felt good to be that close to someone. I was upset about our fight in the club and I took advantage of the situation. I wanted to tell you, but we were already so on edge, I didn't want to make it worse. That's why I broke up with you in the studio and why I snapped at you at the hospital. I felt so guilty and I didn't know how to act around you."

She let his words sink in, trying to process everything he said. It was a bit overwhelming. Going from not talking at all to information overload. It made her a little dizzy, but she was glad that he had said it, that he was finally opening up to her. This was just what they needed to get back to the way things were. It gave her hope that he felt the same way she did. She reached up and placed her hands on his arms. His hands still cupped her face and she reveled in their warmth.