Fuzhu's Ballad

53

Chapter 53 Sorrow and happiness stem from one’s state of mind

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Holding the dragon robe in both hands, Lan Dan came out of the hall in a daze. Su Yi Ming stood at the bottom of the stairs and, upon seeing her, smiled bitterly and said softly, “You’ve worked hard tonight.”

Lan Dan shook her head awkwardly and turned half way to look back into the hall. The Empress Dowager had apparently already made arrangements. The palace maids had just gone in to invite her out, and now they were calmly tidying up and changing the clothes of the Empress Dowager and Shentu Cheng’s bodies. Not a single person cried or wailed. No one was talking.

Su Yi Ming coughed and advised in a low voice, “You should go back… someone will take care of the rest. You… don’t need to look at it.” 

Lan Dan turned her head to look at him, knowing he meant well. Her mind was too chaotic, and what the Empress Dowager and Shentu Cheng had talked about tonight was their past, but it seemed to be her past as well. Many of the puzzles that she had been unable to solve before had suddenly been answered, but instead of feeling relieved, she felt even more sad. “Since… there is a solution, why does the Empress Dowager have to sacrifice her life?” she muttered softly to herself.

Su Yi Ming smiled, with a hint of understanding of the ways of the world. “There’s nothing left to cling to now. She just held on until now for Brother Rui’s sake.”  

Lan Dan fell silent for a moment and smiled lightly, “I wonder if the Khan Sa Ju… looks like Shentu Rui?”

Su Yi Ming teased with a playful tone, “It is said that he looks a lot like him, and he’s even more handsome than Brother Rui. He was a great hero of Beimo, riding on the grassland to protect his home and country, and was vigorous and awe-inspiring. If he hadn’t failed in the Battle at the Dragon Wall, he would have become a god of Beimo.” As he spoke, he revealed a hint of longing.

Lan Dan let out a long sigh and felt that she understood the Empress Dowager a bit more.

Su Yi Ming looked towards the hall, where the palace maids had almost finished cleaning up. The Empress Dowager had instructed him to cremate her and Shentu Cheng’s bodies immediately afterwards, something he didn’t want Lan Dan to see. “You should go back and check on Brother Rui,” he urged her, pulling her arm and dragging her away.

Lan Dan gave him a bitter smile and his hand trembled inexplicably. “Go ahead… ” His tone of voice, when speaking to her, had become strange even to himself.

When Lan Dan returned to Shentu Rui’s room, Ge Chun had just finished changing his bandages. He stood by the bed, rolling up the blood-stained gauze to throw away, and when he saw Lan Dan come in, he said without much expression, “He’s just woken up. Feed him some porridge with medicine. Let him eat as much as possible.”

With wide eyes and joy on her face, Lan Dan walked over to the bed. He was awake? She realized she was still holding the package in her hands, so she placed the dragon robe carefully on the table before hurrying over to the bedside.

The room was dimly lit, but fortunately Ge Chun had placed a small lamp at the head of the bed for changing the bandages.

Although Shentu Rui’s condition had somewhat improved, his eyes were still closed and his mouth was tightly pursed in displeasure. Lan Dan couldn’t help but smile and sigh. He was already starting to throw tantrums.

The soft orange candlelight illuminated his face, which looked thin and fragile but still handsome. He didn’t know that another person who truly loved and cared for him had left the world, and it was only thanks to these people who had been his companions that he had persevered until today despite all the hardships he had faced over the years.