Fake Birds Conspiracy {Chino Moreno x Chi Cheng}

Fake Birds Conspiracy

No matter what, you could always be rest assured that you’d end up knowing someone who packed a little more flavour than you. There was always a person who was slightly crazier than you were. For Chino, this description rang true for someone he was particularly close to.
 
“Do you think Rivers Cuomo is Kurt Cobain reincarnated?”
 
“Chi, you know I have to be a lot higher than I am what I am right now to comprehend what the hell you just said.”
 
Chino didn’t know how exactly he had made his best friend, but as much as he joked around about it, he wouldn’t trade him in for another one. They were friends for life as soon as they had met at the library when Chino was studying for a college exam and the latter had asked him seemingly out of nowhere if he had any spare change on him for a cherry coke.
 
“Yeah, well if you get too high, you’ll start going on about your plan to kidnap and marry him," Chi said, thinking about all the times he and Chino had conversed about the topic.
 
“There was absolutely no kidnapping involved in my plan!” Chino defended himself, laughing. Discussions of Chino’s slight obsession with the frontman of his favourite band were rather common among the two. It wasn’t Chino’s fault weed had the same effect on him as truth serum.
 
“Yeah, but it doesn’t change the fact that you’re crazy for him. I get it, but I never considered the quiet ones your type. I figured you’d be more on their rhythm guitarist, he seems a little more flamboyant, kinda like you.” Chi was slyly grinning, knowing he struck a chord.
 
Chino gave him a look of faux shock. “Are you, Chi Cheng, implying that I am a flaming homosexual?”
 
“Well, you’re not good at hiding it, if that’s your question.” Chi laughed, and took a puff off the joint they were sharing.
 
“And just what girls do you like?” It hadn’t been meant as a serious question. They knew one thing for certain about the other: they were both gay. Well, scratch that, they knew two things for certain about the other: they were total potheads, and they were both gay.
 
“Umm, my sister’s pretty cool, I don’t know.”
 
Chino nearly busted his gut from laughing. He inhaled a little too much smoke, and started to cough more than usual, feeling as if he was hacking up his lungs.
 
“Back to the question you asked earlier, I’m pretty sure they’re two different guys, Chi," Chino said putting his hand on Chi's shoulder.
 
“It’s an interesting thought, though," mused Chi.
 
“You’re an interesting person," was the words Chino decided on.
 
Chino had never realized how true this was until he noticed that Chi was practically a magnet for people’s small children to come up and bother. He never seemed to get annoyed, however. In fact, Chi was the most good natured guy he knew.
 
“Dogs like you, kids like you. Do the woodland animals all start dancing when you sing in the shower?” Chino asked as they sat on a bench at the park.
 
“Why do you think I wanted to become a teacher? Kids are pretty neat.”
 
“You’re getting a degree in teaching?” That was news to Chino.
 
“Yeah, I thought I told you," Chi said, scratching the back of his neck.
 
“No! That’s insane, you'd be like, the coolest teacher ever! You smoke pot and talk about conspiracy theories all day, I wish I had someone like you when I was little.” Chino's eyes were wide with excitement.
 
Chi chuckled. “I don’t tell kids about that stuff, by the way. Only you, because it’s funny to watch you get ticked off.”
 
“You mean you don’t plan on teaching your future students about how there might actually be reptilians in the government?” Chino's tone was humourous, but he wouldn't be surprised if Chi had actually mentioned the subject to kids passing by.
 
“Nope, I didn’t even tell the kids I tutored back in high school about how birds weren’t real.” Chi grinned, looking proud of himself.
 
“Astonishing!” Chino exclaimed sarcastically.
 
“Okay, I told a few, but they weren’t particularly bright. Keep that between me and you.”
 
Chino coughed loudly from choking on his breath, picturing the scenario. “You’re evil! Some of them probably still believe that thanks to you!”
 
“You love me and you know it." Chi poked him, smiling mischeviously.
 
“You are a menace to society, Chi Ling Dai Cheng, a menace!” Chino laughed at the idea of imagining Chi in grade school bringing up the fake birds conspiracy out of nowhere to kids while teaching them how to do algebra equations.
 
Chi smiled, but Chino noticed he was quieter than usual. He didn’t press the issue, but he swore that as time passed, he could see tension of sorts in his face.
 
“You’re pretty cool, you know that Chino?”
 
“So I’ve been told," Chino responded, not sure what to make of the compliment.
 
“I’m serious. If Rivers Cuomo was gay, I’m sure you’d be his first pick," Chi said, a glimmer in his eyes.
 
Chino was horrible at picking up hints. In all fairness, Chi wasn’t exactly great at giving them out. It was hard to tell what could’ve been subtle signs to deeper feelings, considering they were both high as kites about half the time they were around each other. But after awhile, some things became more obvious between them.
 
“Why do you keep your lips on the joint for so long?” Chino asked. They were smoking weed on Chi's back porch.
 
“Because I can taste your chapstick on it," Chi responded nonchalantly.
 
“Oh really? What flavour?” Chino asked incredulously.
 
“Tastes like mango.”
 
Chino's face scrunched up. There went that secret. “Dammit, you guessed right.”
 
“How did you notice I kept my lips on the joint long enough to taste your chapstick, anyways?” Chi questioned, raising his eyebrow.
 
Chino didn’t know how to answer. So he said something honest. “I don’t know, your lips are nice.” Dammit, Moreno. He could have just as easily slapped himself.
 
“Oh, um, thanks.” Chi’s face heated up a little. They returned to normal conversation, but the undertones of what was there before were still persistent. Whatever they even were.
 
After putting the joint out, Chi asked, “So, were you just making a general observation?”
 
“An observation of what?”
 
“Y’know, or were you staring? Earlier, I mean. Because if you were staring, I don’t mind..." Chi's voice trailed off.
 
Chino thought about what he said this time more carefully. He chewed his lip in between his teeth and let go.
 
“I may have been.”
 
He pondered whether or not he should say anything else, ultimately remaining silent until Chi asked tried to ask him a question and he couldn’t take it anymore.
 
“Do you-”
 
He made a soft “hmmph” sound as he leaned his head up to kiss his friend.
 
“Does that answer your question?” Chino crossed his arms after pulling away.
 
“I was gonna ask if you used white lighters or avoided them because of bad luck.”
 
“I-” Chino could kill him right about now.
 
“Relax, you moron, I was gonna ask you if you liked me. Fucking Christ, I’m not that dense.” Chi started laughing. Fucker.
 
“Compared to who, me?” Chino exclaimed, raising an eyebrow. Chi just laughed.
 
“Actually, yes! I’ve been giving you hints for awhile now.”
 
Chino felt silly, but to be fair, reading between the lines wasn't his strong suit. “Sorry, I’m not good at picking that kinda stuff up, you know that.”
 
Chi looked done. “I could’ve gotten a first grader to get that I liked you before you got that I liked you, Chino.”
 
“I’m dense, I know," Chino said, admitting defeat. "Why didn’t you just spit it out in the first place?” he asked, genuinely curious.
 
“A part of me was worried that you wouldn’t reciprocate feelings," Chi admitted, twiddling his thumbs.
 
Chino couldn't believe it. He thought Chi surely would have noticed how Chino practically melted into a puddle of excitement when they talked. “Now you’re dense. I thought I was pretty obvious. I wouldn’t reveal my plans to kidnap Rivers Cuomo to just anyone, y’know.” He smiled and held out his hand. Chi took it.
 
“I thought you said no kidnapping was involved, Moreno.”
 
“I could be capable of anything, you never know." Chino grinned, squeezing Chi's hand.
 
“Thank god, a government drone has caught you confessing to take away Weezer frontman, Rivers Cuomo. Jig’s up, Camillo.” Using his real name to poke fun at him, Chi pointed as a bird landed on the railing of the porch.
 
“A what?” Chino looked up at Chi and sighed as he realized he was referring to a fucking bird.
 
“He may let you go if you agree to kiss me again. Quick, before he flies off to report what he’s heard!”
 
Chino rolled his eyes, and leaned in to capture Chi’s lips with his own once again. When he pulled away, he noticed the bird was still there, perched and watching them.
 
“I think the government surveillance drone wants some bread." Chino gave a small smile as he watched the bird flap its wings, steadying itself on the porch railing.
 
“I should have never started feeding them," Chi muttered, rolling his eyes.
 
“Aww, go get him some bread, he’s hungry, Chi.” Chino felt his heart skip a little. Of course Chi fed the damn birds when he saw them. It was cute, he thought.
 
When Chi stepped inside the house, Chino looked at the bird and said, “He’s mine, you hear me?”
 
He laughed as he saw another bird land beside the first one.
 
“Never mind, I see you already have a friend.”
 
Chi came back with a piece of bread. “You wanna feed them together?” he asked.
 
“I’d love to.”
 
They watched the sun in the sky lower on the horizon as birds came and went for pieces of bread. Chi purposely gave Chino the last little bit to throw out to them. He sneaked his arm around him, watching him grin as the first bird, still there, begin to peck at it’s crumb.