Read Your Diary

Castiels POV

I'd got out of work earlier today to go and see him. He'd been at my house last week, watching Sherlock and doing Karaoke with me. He'd stayed over, sleeping in the spare room. Why couldn't he share with me? I lent him some grey joggers and one of my tshirts, too big on the hips but snugly fitting his broad shoulders. Once he'd left, I'd found his underwear next to the spare bed, not exactly hidden but not easily spotted either. I almost thought he'd left them here on purpose, so I'd have to go and see him.

I've been obsessing over Dean Winchester for the best part of 4 years, but I'd known him for at least 7. We're best friends, have been since our university days when I was studying to become a psychologist, and he an occultist. But i never realised just how much Dean meant to me until 3 years later, when we went out for a few drinks in the local club. Coloured lights had lit up my friends face, and I found myself in awe of the man's beauty. Girls came up to him constantly, and I found my face grew hot with jealousy when he smiled and flirted back. Dean was mine. All mine.

That night he'd left his clubbing shoes over at mine. I knew his shoe size was the same and I wanted to know how it felt to dance around like him, to be like him. I put on his shoes and blasted my music, dancing around my room like a fool - I was a fool, a fool in love with my best friend. When I realised what I was thinking, I fell flat on my face next to my bed, and gasped when I saw what was lying there. Deans Diary.

Dean's diary contains everything, from his recent hunts to his darkest secrets, and my GOD was I desperate to read it. He never let anyone near this thing, he hid it away and usually kept it at home away from everything else. But he'd brought it here with him. So read it I did. Dancing around my room in Dean's shoes, my face dimly lit with red LEDs and his diary in my hands, reading the thoughts that Dean decides to put on paper, and keeps hidden away from everybody. What I saw had shocked me to the core.

I opened the diary, and four Polaroid photos fell out. I picked them up one by one before taking a proper look, and almost threw them in surprise when I realised what they were of. I felt my dick half stiffen and my face glowed red with shame as I looked at these photos in shock. In each photo, Dean was posed on his bed looking as glorious as ever, early morning sunshine fluttering in through the blinds and highlighting his face perfectly. His chiselled torso adorned with a satin robe that hugged him in all the right places. I saw the curve of his hips as he was laying and as I felt my eyes drag down all of my blood plummeted south. Aside from this robe, Dean was completely naked. I felt my mouth watering and I knew I had to do something, so I put the photos to one side for later use, and continued to read the diary.

Dear Diary,

It read.

I don't know what to do anymore. I see Castiel and all my inhibitions are gone; I feel the butterflies in my stomach flutter when he smiles, my heart skips a beat when I see him in the mornings after a night out. He's so goddamn perfect it's beyond ridiculous. I keep pictures of him in my wardrobe, tucked away so only I can find them - I jerk off to him sometimes, all I need to let go is a view of those beautiful eyes locked on mine, a slight smile on his lips. I almost want him to know how I feel, but how would he react?

I threw the diary down quick as a flash and took Dean's photos and his underwear, locking myself in the bathroom with my right hand until I'd calmed down.

Which brings me to now. I'm stood outside of Dean's house with a bag of his Diary, his underwear, his shoes and even some of his aftershave that I'd found. I'd sprayed some on before grabbing my trench coat and running out of the house, straight over to Dean's, stopping once for roses on the way. I knocked 5 times to let him know that it was me, and he opened the door looking confused and slightly nervous.