mine mine number nine

six

winona lola: date:
josh opens the door to the car for me. i appreciate how he smells so manly, is that even a good smell? he is so soft with and gentle with me.

as he jogs to the other side i check my makeup in the mirror.
"so, can you just briefly tell me why joe burrow is hanging out in your house?" josh chuckles at me.
"wellll he got traded to the niners, and now is catching up with my family. we knew him back from ohio state." i explain as i watch his hands grip the wheel.

he smiles, "okay okay, changing topic: how was your day?"
i look out the window, "good actually — how was yours?"
"really good, i was really happy you wanted to go out with me." he places his hand on my thigh.
then picks it up, and hovers it over my skin, "can i?"
"yes yes go ahead, touch me." i say.

and so we continue with the polite conversations.
once we're seated we scan over the menu.
"can i get anything to drink?" the waitress asks.
a sweet young girl.
josh looks over at me, then says, "could we get a bottle of red? white?"
he waits for me to answer, "red, please. a good deep red." i lowly say.
josh's foot brushes my calf as i feel him looking at me. she walks away, i turn my gaze back to josh.
"soo — how've you been?" he grabs my hand.
"josh you already asked," he stops me.
"i mean in the boyfriend area of life."

the sun is setting, and it's only us in here. the place is lowly lit as we are looking at the waves crashing down. comfortably sitting.

"well, it's been quiet. expect for a few bzzz here and there, from an old friend." i joke.
"oh?" he laughs as well.
"what about you?" i ask.

but this conversation reminds me of who joe is hanging out with. he's probably touching her like this. but i can't — i can't keep living like this.

"no girlfriend for a while, but im ready for one now."
here i am, questioning how far joe is into seducing his ex, while josh is holding my hand telling me he's READY for a relationship.
am i stupid ??

the wine comes out, and i can feel this dress slowly slipping off too later on.
—
the evening continues on, just perfectly fine.
as we walk out of the restaurant, he wraps me in his arms.
"you look so good, lola." he whispers in my ear.
"stopppp" i drag out the word as we giggle to the car. he stops by the car door to open it, i spin around to see his face.
"how good?" i ask.
"i could kiss you, you smell soo good, you look so beautiful." he brushes the stray hairs out of my face.
"then do it."
and he does. he kisses my lips so softly, as his hands fall into mine.
"jossshhh." i climb into the car.
—
"goodnight, lola."
"goodnight josh."

i go up to wash my face and see joe sitting on my bed.
"how was it?" he follows me as i undress.
"good actually, some red wine, good conversation, he's a great kisser." i say.
after i wash my face i sit down on my bed. joe standing in front of me.
"how good?"
"i almost gave him a blowjob, it was that good." i joke.
joe scoffs and turns around. as if that statement made him unbelievably distraught. he looks back towards me.
"oh come. on. really? are mine that good?"
then i remember us. joe and i.
and as im getting into bed, i think about how good he could make me feel.

"actually yeah." i say.
"one kiss. then .. ill sleep on the couch.."

oh
my
gosh.
HES LIVING WITH ME?
how did i forget that easily? oh — oh no..
"one more." i say as i lay down.
joe climbs over my body and kisses me passionately.
he slips his tongue in, and i gently moan at the feeling. he stands over me, "goodnight nola."

he gave me that nickname. this moment is so intimate, but it's ruined when i remember where he was tonight.
as he leaves the room i think about josh, seeing i have a text from him.

josh allen
thanks for tonight, i had a lot of fun with you. maybe we can get breakfast if you want? have a good night lola.

josh is better for me, but joe, joe sets me ablaze.