The Moment I Knew

'Happy Birthday' texts started to rattle through my phone at promptly 12:01 am. The texts are ranging from close friends, family members, and automated messages from the rewards systems I've signed up for over the years.

Most of them were basic, "Happy Birthday girly! Can't believe you're 18! Live it up!"

Some were a little more heartfelt, "Happy Birthday Elizabeth! Wow, I can't believe you are 18 now. Time really does fly. Enjoy your day. I love you!"

It was mostly just my grandma and my best friend, Caitlin who worded it that way. But nonetheless, still heartfelt.

I smile as I read through my messages, then I roll over to get some sleep.

At 8 am this morning, my younger brother Levi barged in to wake me, "Get up Lizzie! It's your birthday!"

"That's not how you say 'Happy Birthday' to someone Lev," my mom chimed in.

"I've been awake," I say, "I haven't been able to sleep."

"Should've tried harder," my mom laughed, "come on, we need your help with some last minute party things."

I groaned as I rolled out of bed. As much as I'm excited for my party tonight, I was comfortable in my bed.

I make my way up to the kitchen where I'm greeted with a full breakfast spread.

"What's this?" I asked

"Breakfast, dumbass," my brother, Blake, replied.

"Be nice," mom scolded, "I thought it would be nice to start the day with a nice meal since we'll be running around getting ready for the party all day."

"It looks great mom, thank you," I said as I sat down.

I finished eating and went back downstairs to shower and get ready. When I got out, I went to look at my phone to see if my boyfriend, Shawn, had tried messaging me.

'Zero unread messages' displayed on my phone. I thought it was strange but didn't think much of it. It was about 10 am at this point, he could still be sleeping. In our three years of dating, he had always been the first one to tell me happy birthday, so I was a little upset when he didn't call at midnight. I'm sure he just fell asleep waiting and he'll make it up to me tonight.

I had just finished getting ready when Caitlin showed up to my house. "Happy birthday girly!" She screamed. She gave me a hug then handed me a bouquet of eighteen roses. It had been our tradition since we were nine, every birthday you would add a rose. We hadn't been too keen on gifts before then, but when we were nine, we started watching rom-coms and thought flowers were an appropriate gift for children who had no real money of their own.

"Thanks Cait," I smile and set the vase of flowers down on my dresser, "Where's Miles? I thought you said he was coming with you."

Miles is Caitlin's boyfriend and one of my best friends. The three of us plus Shawn all grew up together. "He had to help his dad with something," she said, "he'll be there tonight though."

I smile and nod. We then went upstairs and started helping my mom make some final things. I looked at the time, and it read 1:37 pm. "I'm going to try and call Shawn," I say, "I'll be right back."

I ran downstairs and tried calling Shawn. No answer. I called again. Still, no answer.

"Hey," I texted, "just checking to see how things are. I know we had that fight the other day but I'm over it now. See you at my party tonight?"

I waited around for a while, then I finally saw those three bubbles pop up from his name, "I'll be there," he replied.

I smiled, then set my phone back on my bed and went upstairs.

It was 5pm now, my mom, brothers, and Caitlin all headed to the hall to set up for my party. I sat around for a while then decided to get ready for the party.

When 8pm hit I headed to my party. I walked in and everybody yelled 'Happy Birthday!' I looked around to try and find Shawn but he wasn't there. I shook it off for the time being, the party had just started. He still has time.

I mingled with everyone but kept a close eye on the door. The time was ticking. I was expecting to see him burst through that door with that "Baby, I'm right here," smile. I would have been so happy. People continued to ask me how I've been, but all I could do was look back on how he said he'd be here. I felt alone. Standing there in my party dress. I wore it just for him. Everybody is having fun, laughing. I could be too. But he was missing. I realized a moment later that Shawn wasn't coming. I ran to the bathroom, nearly falling apart. Caitlin and Miles follow close behind.

"Elizabeth what's wrong?" Caitlin asked.

"He said he'd be here," I sniffled.

"There's still time, Liz. He can still show," Miles assured.

But, that was the moment I knew. He wasn't coming. Caitlin and Miles left the bathroom and I took a few minutes to collect myself.

I walked out to my mom holding a birthday cake, everybody surrounded me singing happy birthday. I was defeated. The only thing I wanted was for Shawn to be there. But he wasn't. I looked at the front door one last time and began to cry. Everyone around me stared as tears ran down my face.

"What do I say?" I thought.

Soon after my outburst I, and everyone else left. Mascara stained my face and all I wanted was to tear this stupid party dress off.

I laid in my bed staring at the wall, wondering why the one person who means everything to me didn't show up to my party.

My phone started ringing.

Shawn.

I picked it up and answered, "I'm sorry I didn't make it," Shawn said.

"Yeah, I'm sorry too," I said before hanging up.

We had been fighting for a while, but this was it.

This was the moment I knew.