Summer and May

Chapter Forty-Eight: Summer

Tonight was the first time I didn't think of May while I got ready for an event. Her absence was becoming normal, but it didn't hurt as much as I expected it would. Seeing her earlier today only solidified that all hope wasn't lost for us. I still held a million questions close to my chest, but as each day passed, I felt less of a need to ask them. I only cared to look ahead, now.

As Emma and I primped and primed for the festival, looking ahead was our primary topic of discussion. For the first time in weeks, I felt excited about going to Brown, even though it will look different than I'd always imagined. Part of me no longer blamed May for that. Moving on would be the only attitude I possessed going forward.

The night fell together perfectly, as it always did under my mother's supervision. Once the sun set, she finally let herself enjoy the night, dancing under string lights with my dad. I smiled, watching them smile at each other.

"Snuck you one," Alec nudged my arm, handing me a Dixie cup, its contents fizzy and pink.

"What on Earth is this?" I made a face, my nose scrunching as I dipped it low to smell whatever was in this cup.

"Better get used to it, Ivy League. You can't always drink the nice stuff in college." He tapped his cup to mine, and I laughed, accepting my fate.

Our entire high school class was here, filling me with emotions I didn't expect to feel. I'd looked forward to Brown for so long that I didn't realize how much I'd miss these people. How much I'd miss this place. Shimmer Lake was home, and always would be. Saying goodbye wouldn't be easy. With my moving date looming in the short distance, I soaked in all the mushy, sentimental feelings of this night.

Brooks joined us on the sidewalk after a short dance with May. She looked gorgeous tonight; she'd used the hair curling tips I've been teaching her. She wore the shade of blush I'd always recommended. Her white sundress only made her skin look tanner and her eyes brighter.

"Got booted, huh?" Alec asked, passing his cup to Brooks.

He sipped the last of his drink, tossing the cup into a nearby can. "New guys." Brooks lilted, chuckling at himself.

I couldn't help but stare as May hesitated to take Jeremy's hand. He was asking her to dance, and by the look on her face, it was so clear that she wanted to, but was trying to convince herself not to. When she finally wrapped an arm around his side, holding his other hand, I grinned just barely. I thought watching them together would be excruciating, but the presence of pain was notably absent.

They looked at each other like the other had hung the stars in the sky. They smiled together like they were the only two people in the world. When one spoke, the other listened. They held onto one another like it was their lifeline. I felt a noticeable shift in my chest. A glitch in my system. A recollection of moments and memories, all falling together in a single moment.

"It's always been there, hasn't it?" I asked Brooks, my eyes glued to the two people below us, who were clearly in love.

Brooks, with a resolved expression, looked down at me. When I finally glanced at him, he nodded.

I crossed my arms, "How did we miss it? How did I not..."

He settled himself, peering at them again. "I think it's because they're... friends. They respect each other too much to let their feelings get in the way of each other's lives."

I shut my eyes tightly, sucking in a deep breath. A crushing wave of guilt fell over me. "They're not together because of me." I finally admitted. "May said she won't be with him until she gets my blessing."

"I can see that." he mentioned. "It's clear that she's holding back... She never looked at me like that. Not a single man in her life has gotten that look." Brooks said it without bitterness. He was staring at them just like I was; like a proud friend, wondering how the rest of this would unfold.