Faith In The Wild •CARL GRIMES•

Two Choices

It was a pretty short walk back to our.. home, so in only a few minutes, I was already going back up those plain -yet beautiful- white steps that led to our deck.

"Hey, Bella. How'd it... Go?" Rick asked.

I was always so stuck on back and forth with Carl, that I never got a break.
And I never wanted one, until now.

All I wanted to do, was go upstairs and be alone. To finally rest from always questioning everything. From always overthinking and my mind running tirelessly in circles.

"It was... Okay, for the most part. Carl is still over there, but I think I've socialized enough for one day. So, do you care if I go upstairs?"

I'm not sure why I treated Rick like he's my dad or something, he's not.
I.. actually don't know where my family is. It's ingrained in me to just assume and live with it, rather than get my hopes up for something I can't do anything about.

"I just wanna be by myself, for a while... it's been a rough week for all of us and some rest..would be nice." I finished.

"I thought you two weren't going to split up?" He ignored my question and my -obviously- upset body language.

"Well..I just- I thought it would be fine because he was with Ron and Enid and..." I rambled uselessly.

He's mad. I made him mad. Of course I did.

"I'm sorry." I chattered, feeling like I'd failed at my job of babysitting Carl.

"You know what? Actually, it's alright. I'll go back over there. Let me get some snacks for everyone and I'll head back that way." I smiled unusually happy.

If I can't get away from it, might as well embrace it.

Leaving Rick confused at my sudden change of attitude, I went inside and grabbed some chips along with a couple of Gatorade powder mixes and bottles of water. I was on my way to embrace the confusion, and my gaze was straight infront of me, though I could feel Rick's stare burning into my back almost the entire time until I got to Ron's house.

--"Hey..?"-- Carl said, looking up at me from the porch.

"Hi." A short response was fitting, since I lost sight of what to talk about with him because I didn't know how to tell him exactly what was on my heart-- And there wasn't much else on my mind, either.

--"Are... You okay?"-- He stood up, following me inside Ron's house.

"Mhm. Just thinking, as always." I continued on down the hall and upstairs to Ron's room where him, Mikey, and Enid were huddled back to their 'three wheel' style.

--"Bells.."-- Carl followed anxiously.

I felt his hand reach for my wrist, just brushing past my own as he missed it.

--"Wait."-- He called for me. I wasn't ignoring him, but I was tired of being stagnante and feeling like our friendship was just that: a friendship.

I couldn't bear this much longer, I felt.. trapped.

Right before I went around the last corner, almost to Ron's room, Carl finally caught my wrist and stopped my determined walk of independence to make a decision I might've regretted. I was going to go make friends with Mikey and Ron, hoping Carl wouldn't be the only person I depended on for friendship.

--"Isabella."-- He said in the most firm tone he's used with me in a while, grabbing my wrist and stopping me in a close yet worried stare into my hardened gaze.

I stared back at him, feeling as if a glaze was over my eyes, hiding any feelings yearning to spill out.

--"What's wrong? And don't say "nothing" because I know that isn't true, you've been acting like this since the barn. It can't just be nothing. So knock it off and just tell me what's going on. "-- He whispered, still holding my wrist, but softened his grip.