Alexei x Reader Crackfic

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Blame my girlfriend for the existence of this. Alexei simps cannot be normal /silly

Also no I'm not proofreading this either, this was meant to be sh!tty 😭

~~~

Alexei stretched his arms as he got ready for yet another round. It was in the beach, whatever it's name was. It didn't matter. What mattered was he was, once again, gonna kill people. He sighed, readying his weapon. He appeared on the roof, and he climbed down the stairs of the exit escape. He didn't feel like jumping off the roof like some of the other killers did, most notably the undeads. He used his detect to reveal the location of all 8 survivors, and swiftly made his way down the street.

Meanwhile, you thought it'd be a good idea if you wore a cat maid outfit. Kelvin just stares at you in confusion while you two work on the generator located in the docks.

"Why are you wearing that?" He asked.

"I thought it was funny," you respond. He sighed and turned back to the generator.

Alexei ran down the boardwalk. Kelvin notices and takes out his sonar gun and pulls a 360° no-scope, a sonar dart landing on Alexei's head alerting everyone where he is.

"Dumb@ss Kelvin," he muttered. He squints his eyes and noticed something shocking.

You. And the outfit you were wearing.

"Cmon, we gotta run," Kelvin said to you. You just shrugged and turned back to the generator.

"There's no need to, Alexei looks like he's too stunned to speak." Kelvin turns back to look at Alexei, confirming what you said.

"What the fvck? Why are you dressed like that?" Alexei said, sweating under his mask.

"Why not?" You shot back.

"Your outfit is ho- I mean distracting," he quickly corrected himself. "Can you... not... wear that...?" You shook your head, glancing at Kelvin. He looks horrified, as if he's seen things.

"You just called them hot," Kelvin said.

"I DID NOT." Alexei's face became as red as a bell pepper.

"Yeah you did."

"NO I DIDN'T!"



"Yuh uh."

"NUH UH!!!" Alexei started charging at Kelvin, who let go of the wires he was trying to put back together and made a run for his life. Kelvin ran across the beach as fast as he could. Alexei just stood and watched. "What a loser. As for you..." He turned around menacingly.

You gulped, accidentally letting the generator explode in your face. You yelp, not realizing Alexei had the generator under his surveillance and it locked up. Alexei promptly bonked it with a baton, watching as the progress bar went down. "Oh no, all of your hard earned progress!" He mocked. You watched the bar empty.

"Why'd you have to do that?" You asked.

"Uh, because I can."

"Also why'd you call me hot."

Alexei covered his face with one hand. "Forget about it."

"Nope. I have questions and want answers."

He groaned. "Fine... It's because of your outfit..."

You laughed. "Oho, I completely forgot you were into cat girls~"

"Shut up!" You proceeded to give him a kiss on the cheek to tease, making him scream internally. He instinctively pulled you closer, pulled down his mask, and proceeded to kiss you on the lips. Hard.

The makeout session lasted five minutes before Sanjana noticed Alexei, and the fact that he was wearing his Field Agent outfit. She then proceeded to knock him out by smacking him and drag you to the opened exit as 30 seconds remained on the clock.

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