Behind A Smile

[A Painful Past]

[The picture is the 17 year old Kourin.]

"Mama! Papa! Nii-chan!" a six year old Kourin called, looking at the coffins in front of her with wide eyes. She held on to her step-sister's hand tighter, as tears continued streaming down her pale face, calling their names again.

Hakuei -her step-sister- looked at her with worried and sad eyes, and ran her free hand over Kourin's cheek, making the silverette glance at her. Hakuei gave her a very gentle smile.

"Kourin stop crying, they wouldn't be happy If they saw you like this," she stated, a hint of sorrow in her voice. She was on the verge of crying as well, but she hid it under her smile.

"But it's all my fault!" Kourin exclaimed—her voice was broken as she burst into tears again. Hakuei looked at her in shock. She was about to say something but Kourin didn't let her.

"It's all my fault! My real mother died because of me and now so did they!" she yelled, stopping her high pitched cries a bit as she continued. "I don't deserve to live. I'm nothing but a mistake, I just want to-" she stopped when Hakuei's palm hit her cheek, her face was moved a bit to the side but she didn't bother to look at her sister anymore. Kourin just stared at the floor with her beautiful orange orbs hidden in her silver fringe.

"Kourin! It's not your fault!" Hakuei yelled, with a scolding yet worried voice. She hated it when her little sister blamed herself. She had experience this once when Kourin found out that her real mother died giving birth to her. "Kourin....." she sat down, now just the height of Kourin. She gave her yet another smile—but it was different this time as tears started to form on her eyes. "Fate has something better for you. Sometimes it really needs some sacrifice, but in the end you will understand why fate is doing this," she said as white butterflies, or rukh, as others prefer to address it, surrounded her, though Kourin was the only one who noticed this by judging that the others at the funeral didn't flinch or even move when the rukhs passed them.

"Hakuei.... nee?" Kourin said in a questioning voice. She curiously gazed at the white butterflies, though her sister didn't notice it. Hakuei stood up and led Kourin in front of her father's coffin.

"Now, let's bid farewell," Hakuei said as she wiped her tears away. Kourin did the same and nodded, giving her father a very bright smile, "Bye bye, Papa," she said as rukh's started to surround her. She walked to her step-mother and step-brother's coffin and also bid farewell to them.

"Hakuryuu-nii," Kourin whispered, taking her brother's cold, right hand. He was in a critical condition due to the accident that took his mother, brothers and step-father's life. He was currently confined in the hospital and hasn't woken up yet for the past few days, being the reason he wasn't at the funeral. The accident left part of his face - and some parts of his body – with bad burn scars.

Kourin was on the verge of crying again, but held it in. She leaned on her brother's ear and whispered.

"I'm sorry Hakuryuu-nii..... I promise I will protect both you and Hakuei-nee, even if it costs me my life." She smiled before leaving the room.

A/N: This is not the beginning, just a part of her past.