You broke me for nothing...

Chapter 22

Kate pov...

I look out the window as Chris drives... I sort of known in which area he lives nowadays... But not the exact location... The houses got bigger and further apart. The gates get larger, and the house can barely be seen from the road... Privacy... That is what it is designed for here... To disappear... To lock yourself away from the world... No nosy neighbors, no greeting your neighbors as you go and get the mail... No neighborhood barbeques... Just closing the gate behind you and being in your own world... Or that is how i imagine it to be...

I sigh as i realize he has come far from our little shoebox apartment. God that place was so small that you could go to the toilet and take a shower at the same time... The pipes were always making noise and there were so many times that the water would go cold mid shower... And the kitchen... God the kitchen was not more than one cabinet and a hot plate... Still... It was a happy time... A simpler time... God how did we get here... 

I wish i could just go back in time... To a time were life just seemed simple and uncomplicated... Before everything went to shit... Maybe that was why i went with Chris... Is it smart... I dont know but the idea of being somewhere without kids running around was comforting... I know i can't avoid kids forever but for now i think this is best... Every time i heard one of Tara's kids laugh it was just like someone sat on my chest and applied more pressure... 

Chris slows down the car and drives up to this massive gate... You can't even see the house from the gate... He presses a button, and the gate opens a driveway being revealed... Still no house... As soon as he drives in, he presses the button again and the gate closes... He drives further on and then a house appears... It is not as big as i had expected with the big gate... It is some sort of farmhouse... The house is beautiful... Dont get me wrong... It is not a small house... It is bigger than any house i have ever lived but not over the top big... Not, you need to call each other to find each other big... 

He drives up to the house... We still have not spoken a word since we left Tara's... I am tired... I had fallen asleep only to wake up when he opened the door to put my stuff in the back seat... He parks the car and looks at me... "I just want you to know... Any time you want to leave... Just tell me... We will find you another place to stay..." Chris says and i force a smile at him... This is the Chris i know... Always wanting to make someone comfortable... I just nod... I wonder if i feel uncomfortable being here with him alone... I come to the conclusion i am not... Chris gets out the car and lets Dodger out... I dont wait for Chris to open the door for me... I think that would be weird...

I look around still holding the car door... I take a deep breath... Fresh air and silence... You can only hear the birds... I can't help but smile as Dodger gets the zoomies and runs around like crazy... But my smile quickly disappears... I should not be smiling... How can i be smiling at a time like this... I have no reason to smile... I dont deserve to smile...

Chris walks up to me with my bag in hand... "You, okay?" He asks and i nod... I point to Dodger... "Energetic little thing isn't he...?" I ask and Chris chuckles and nods... "Yeah... Just let me know when he is too much... I will make sure he won't be too much..." He says and i shake my head... "It will be okay..." I say and he nods... "Do you want to go inside...?" He asks and i nod... 

I follow him to the front door and i look around... I wonder if this is all him... It looks so... Home sweet home like... I wonder if he had decided on the flowerpots at the front door... It is nice it gives the place this homely feeling... 

He opens the front door, and we walk in... I can't help but look around... The walls of the entrance are covered with photos... Family photos... "You okay...?" Chris asks again as he sees me looking at a picture of the whole Evans family... I tear up but nod... Family...  I once was part of that family and up till a few weeks ago i thought i would have one of my own... Now... Now i have nothing...No baby... No family... My mom left us when i was 2... She didn't want to be a mother anymore... My dad died a long time ago... He had never remarried... I am an only child... Grandparents had died long before that... I never felt the urge to look for my mom... She left... She never contacted us so why would i bother... She didn't want me anymore so i didn't want her...

I feel two arms wrap around me and i melt into Chris as i start to cry harder... "It is okay... It is all going to be okay... You are safe here..." He whispers making me cry even harder... When i finally have calmed down a bit he lets me go... "Do you want a tour?" He asks and i shake my head... "Is it okay if i take a shower and go to sleep... I am so tired..." I whisper and he gives me a comforting smile and nods... "Follow me..." He says and i follow him as he takes my bag and walks into the house... 

We reach a room, and he opens the door... This massive bed is in the middle of the room. There is a fireplace and a big TV on the wall. He puts my bag down... "I hope this is okay..." He says and i nod... "There is a bed... That is all i need..." I whisper and he nods... "The bathroom is here..." He says as he opens the door to a massive bathroom... I think the bathroom is bigger than our first apartment... There is this big bathtub... 

"So, take a shower... Or a bath... Whatever you want...  Towels are in here... All sorts of shampoos and body washes are in here... " He says opening a cupboard... "I will put some of my sweats on the bed... So, you have something comfortable to wear... Just put your dirty clothes in the hamper and i will get them to wash later... My bedroom is the next door... You can always wake me no matter the time... Just make yourself at home... If you dont want Dodger in here i would advise you to close the door... He loves to lay in bed and snuggle so any chance he gets he will crawl in bed with you..." Chris says and i nod... "I dont mind..." I whisper and he smiles... 

"I mean it Kate... Anything you need just tell me and i will get it for you... Do you want something to eat?" He asks and i shake my head... He nods... He hesitates for a little bit but decides to leave... I can hear him talk to Dodger as he closes the bedroom door behind him... 

I walk into the bathroom and lock the door behind me... The bathtub looks tempting but i decide on a shower scared i will fall asleep in the tub... I take a quick shower... I can hear Chris walk in and out the bedroom and when i walk in with a towel wrapped around me i see a pile of clothes laying on the bed... On my nightstand a cup of tea and 2 bottles of water... I quickly get dressed and crawl into bed... The bed is comfortable... I make myself comfortable and it does not take long before i am out like a light...