The state that I'm in. (BEING EDITED)

We meet again

"Hmm...yeah, I 'll see what I can do...though honestly I don't think that this is such a good idea Lucy"

"Why not? It's my party...I can invite whomever I want. Who will I invite if I don't invite my friends...you are my friend Valerie, right?" Lucy asked in agony truly wanting me to go to her party.

I was going home for the weekend but meeting Harry wasn't in my plans at all. I had arranged to go for coffee with Leo and Rose but other than that I was free, but was it wise to go to the Styles' house even if I was invited knowing that Harry would be there? What good would come out of that?

"I know it's too much to ask but can Rose come with me? I just don't want to be there alone" I said hoping that my request would be granted as I really needed backup.

"Definitely Val, no need to ask. Besides I already asked Harry to go out...I don't want him at my party...checking everything I do, if you know what I mean" she replied cheekily just like her brother does.

"Oh! OK then. I'll see you tonight then" I answered a bit disappointed. I was relieved that I wouldn't see Harry but then again I wanted to see him. I know I sound like I just came out of a mental asylum but when you are in love there is no much difference. Honestly!!!

Rose bailed on me on the party invitation as she had a hot date as she called it and Leo gave me a disapproving look. He hadn't worded his thoughts but they weren't hard to guess. Getting ready for the party took forever, I didn't want to dress like when I did when I was working at the club but didn't want to be completely casual either so I ended up wearing a green dress Harry had picked out back in the good days. I straightened my hair and pulled them in a neat bun having minimal makeup as the dress was glamorous enough.

I was stressed to say the least. What if her parents were there when I arrived? She wouldn't have them there if Harry wasn't going to be there right? I parked my car quite far as there was no parking space anywhere near. I almost didn't recognize the place with people spilling from all over it. The music was pumping deafeningly and I figured that the neighbours would definitely complain soon enough. The garden and the patio were covered in plastic red cups and teenagers making out here and there. There was nothing resembling the middle class cosy house that I knew. Approaching I felt my heart being squeezed by an invisible hand...all the feelings I once had when coming here. His fingers that were softly placed at my waist urging me in, sweet words of assurance that I was more than welcome by everybody... I expected to see him there, but I knew better.

"You made it!!!" Lucy exclaimed once she spotted me and rushed to give me a warm hug, kind of the Styles trademark I presume.

"Yeah I did" I said and looked around drinking in the familiar environment which was no longer so familiar in a way.

"He is not here" she whispered in my ear."Yeah...I know...you told me remember?"

"Go ahead make yourself at home. There are drinks in the kitchen...there's finger food on the dining room table...the DJ is a friend and can take a request..." she was trying so hard to make me feel comfortable but I just couldn't calm down and relax. I was in Harry's house...everything around me reminded me of him and I had spent great, memorable time with him here.

"Thank you Lucy..." I answered and headed to the kitchen to get a much needed drink. It would calm me a bit. I was no drinker, never once had I been drunk and I was proud of it but at that moment one drink would definitely be beneficial. I entered the kitchen and pictured myself at the sink rinsing the dishes with Harry teasing me the whole time...I shook my head a bit as if to rid of my thoughts. I neared the fridge and opened it to grab a beer. I took a Sol out of the door and before I closed it I saw the cream cheese Harry and I would fight about constantly. He would spread it on the bread and lick the knife and I would scold him not to do it again and he would dive the knife in the cream cheese again and repeat his actions to piss me off and then he would do it again and spread it on my cheek and lick it of me whilst chuckling and me bursting out in laughter as well.