Putting Boys On The Ledge Ch.1

The only way to survive boys is to put them on The Ledge as often as possible.

Allie Morrison's older sister, Louisa, a resident expert on men, she was the one who told us about The Ledge.

See, The Ledge isn't a real place. It's about making boys suffer, about putting girls in control. Louisa knows all about The Ledge, and she's quite the expert on putting men there. I think she said she had about 47 guys on The Ledge, at my last count.

Oh, right. What's The Ledge and how do you put boys there?

Imagine a really tall skyscraper. Location is important, as I'll explain. We always have in mind this tall building on Storrow Drive. Storrow Drive is one of the main thoroughfares out of Boston, an access road to get to highways. Lots of cars moving pretty fast. impossible to cross on foot unless you're in the mood to end up as a pancake with tire tracks. Got the image?

Okay, you're back to imaging the building, strategiclly positioned along Storrow Drive. Say your on the 20th floor, That's where the boys are. I know, I told you it wasn't real. Bear with me. How do I explain this...? Hmm... Okay. It's like this. You like a boy. he blows you off. you're feeling bummed out, because you like him and all. You're sort of thinking that maybe you should go on that ledge and fall off. Then you'd land on Storrow Drive and get run over by cars and your spleen would get dislodged from your body and sail over to the sidewalk, where someone would pick it up and rush off to the hospital with it for an organ transplant. So someone else gets your spleen while you're paper-thin and coverd in tread marks. Why? Because you let some boy get to you.

Well The Ledge isn't for girl's. It's for boys. Instead of you feeling all bad about yourself because a boy blew you off, your supposed to somehow get him to fall madly in love with you, and then you can ignore him, and then he will get all bummed and goes out on to The Ledge. Watch out spleen!

And even if you like a boy and he likes you, you always have to keep him teetering close to The Ledge so he never treats you badly. As long as your holding The Ledge over his head, your in control. "I have never put a boy on The Ledge. Neither have my best friends, Frances Spinelli or Natalie Page. But Allie? She might only be fourteen like the rest of us, but she's learned a lot from her big sister, Louisa. Allie has put lots of boys on The Ledge. Of course, all she has to do is walk around in public and not smile at any boys, and they're all on The Ledge.

Allie is beautiful. She could easily pass for twenty-one. She has big boobs and curvy hips and this long blond hair" "that's just the right thickness. Boys love her. Men love her too. But Louisa has convinced her to keep putting boys on The Ledge for now, instead of getting involved with any one of them. I think Allie might actually use Louisa as an excuse, and the truth is that she's simply not interested in settling down with any one guy just yet. Which is fine with the rest of us. If Allie went off and got a boyfriend, it would seriously interfere with girl time. We've been a foursome for eleven years, and I'd hate to think of Allie going off with some boy and leaving us a threesome.

Frances is also beautiful. Her mom is from Hawaii and her dad's Italian, so she's got this dark, exotic look going. She never wears makeup and it doesn't matter. She has these long, thick eyelashes, and she has no appreciation for them, because Frances isn't interested in boys. Or so she says. Allie, Natalie, and I don't believe her. We're going to try to tempt her into admitting she likes boys. It's our current agenda.

Natalie's also gorgeous. She runs cross country and track, and she's all skinny, with "legs that go up to her ears. Louisa tells us that men adore women with long legs, in which case Natalie's not going to have much trouble putting men out on The Ledge." "Then we come to me. Blueberry Waller. Could I get a worse name? My parents are eccentric, and I've suffered horribly for it. What kind of parents name their daughter Blueberry? I go by Blue, but I still get weird looks. And Waller? What kind of last name is that? I think I'll get married as soon as I turn eighteen so I can get a new last name. I might change my first name too. I don't have a middle name. The least my parents could have done was give me a decent middle name so I could scrap the Blue shtick and go by something" "decent. But they didn't.