"I hate taking them, they make me so tired but I still can't sleep. I used to sleep better before the doctors gave me this medicine and I hate it. I just don't have any energy at all when I take it, you know? Like when you..."
I waited patiently as she babbled. She'd run out of things to say eventually.
"And these pills," she continued, "they're so big like, like as big as an elephant, you know when you go to the zoo and see the elephants and the zebras and all and you know? How come we tamed horses before we tamed zebras?"
"I don't know, Nichole." I said gently. "Can we talk about the pills again?"
"I know, I know, but-" Nichole stopped and cocked her head towards the corner of the bed we sat side by side on.
"Are you hearing something?" I asked, Nichole nodded. "What is it?"
"I heard someone yell at me."
"What were they saying?"
"He says I should be ashamed, but I don't know about what." Nichole paused, tilting her head the other way. "He's saying that you aren't real." A hard lump formed in my throat and my eyes stung just a little.
"You know the voices aren't real though, right Nichole?" I prodded, placing my hand on her shoulder. She said nothing, her eyes flicked around the room and her head turned to listen to the silent noise that enveloped her. "Nichole?" I repeated. She jumped.
"I'm sorry, they keep insisting that-" turning her face towards me. Her dark eyes burrowed into my heart. "They won't stop saying you aren't real, but I know they aren't real, so I shouldn't listen to them." Despite the conviction of her words, Nichole seemed to wane. "You're real, right?" She placed her hand on mine. "Right?" I couldn't answer. Her eyes studied me, scanning me.
"Oh my God," she whispered, realizing.
"Nichole-"
"No!" she shouted, jumping up. "No, y- yes! Yes, you are, you're real!" I see you everyday, we talk, we laugh, you're too real to not be! I feel you!"
"I'm sorry."
"Please, no!" she cried. "Tell me I'm wrong!" I wanted nothing more in the world to lie to her, but I couldn't. I couldn't help her live like this.
"Nichole," I started, struggling to see her tear flooded eyes through a blur of my own. "Have I ever spoken to someone else?"
"You..." she tried to reply.
"Nichole, have we ever been together with other people? Have you ever introduced me to your friends or parents?" she shuddered.
"I don't even have friends anymore. I can't call Mom." she sniffed. "Please, you're all I have." I gulped and wiped my eyes.
"Nichole," I whispered.
"No, don't do this, please!" She begged, dropping to her knees in front of me. "Nothing makes me happy anymore. Except for you!" She cried through sobs, "You're all that makes me happy!" I touched her cheek and raised her head to look at me.
"I promise you," I said. "You will be happy again," I paused, bracing for her reaction. "If you take these pills right here."
I expected more from her, but instead Nichole looked to where I had pointed, to the pill bottle and glass of water on the nightstand.
"But," she stuttered, "but I'll lose you."
"I don't exist, Nichole.
"You exist to me. That's all that matters."
"But you could have more. You could have so much more," I said with passion. "You can be happy again, see your old friends, the real ones. You can see your mom again."
"They don't want me."
"Do you really believe that," I replied. Nichole stared at the pill bottle, " You don't do you?"
"Do you think I could be normal again?" she asked.
"I know you can." I said with confidence I didn't know I had. Nichole stood up, taking the bottle and the glass before sitting back down.
"But what about you?" she asked, setting the glass on the floor for a moment. "What'll... what will happen to you?"
"I'm a part of you Nichole; I always have been, and I always will." Her hands shook as she twisted off the cap and dumped a pill into her palm. She put the cap back on, placed the bottle down and picked up the glass. She hesitated.
"Always a part of me?" she asked, placing the pill in her mouth.
"Always," she answered.
