"I can't imagine there ever was a universe where we didn't have each other. I don't think even god would deny us that."
There was something dark inside Y/n. Something empty. Perhaps it was the denial she had held as she pulled his limp body off from the rusty rebar growing into grief, ready to swallow her whole. Perhaps it was the impending doom she felt knowing she had lost the most important person in her life.
The wind blew softly through Y/n's hair as she and Sam stood motionless watching as Dean's body was engulfed in flames. The younger Winchester shook slightly as tears fell from his eyes, his brother was gone. For good this time. Y/n however held the expression of a statue, unwavering and emotionless. She could not cry, she couldn't feel anything. She had finally succumbed to the void inside her, and for once she was grateful for it, no more pain.
"I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I had just kicked you and Dean out of the house that night," Y/n stared at Dean's body as Sam continued speaking, "maybe, our lives would have been different." he brought his hand to his face and wiped away the pouring streams of tears to no avail, "but I know that if I could go back, I would always choose to go with you guys, with him." Y/n gulped down painfully as she listened to her friend talk. "Dean, you were more than my brother, you were my best friend, and if I could go back and do it all over again, I would. In a heart beat." Sam choked on the last part as he began sniffling again. The crackling of the fire filled the silence that took over the pair as they watched Dean turn to ash.
Night had fallen and hours had passed without the two moving. The fire had long burnt out and in its place was a pile of ash where Dean's body had once been. Y/n barely noticed as Sam's arm wrapped around her shoulder as he slowly led her to the Impala. She barely noticed him helping her get into the car, or the drive to the bunker. Or Sam calling her name as they stopped at the entrance.
"Y/n?" Y/n blinked once and slowly turned her gaze to Sam.
"I'm fine." Sam looked at her carefully. He knew she wasn't, he wasn't stupid, "I'm just gonna head inside." Sam watched as she exited the car and walked to the bunker door almost mechanically.
Y/n walked down the hallway towards her room slowly. She felt heavy, almost drunk. As she reached her bedroom, their bedroom, she froze. Her eyes fell on the bed that hadn't been touched since they had gotten up that morning. The sheets were still a mess exactly the way he had left them. His glass of whiskey sat half empty on the desk waiting for him to finish it. His socks were strewn across the floor from the night before when he kicked them off. He was still in this room, his aura soaked the room and its many details. Y/n trudged into the room and looked down at the desk. The tear in her heart grew as she read the job application that stared up at her, taunting her. Reminding her that they would never get the life they wanted so badly to have. Y/n walked towards the wall and pressed her back to it before sliding down to the floor and squeezed her eyes shut.
"C'mon you know I'd never leave you." He leaned down and kissed her shoulder as she laughed.
"Yeah yeah yeah. Don't go pulling that again, I thought that was it for you this time." Dean laughed and wrapped his arms around her waist holding her in a tight embrace.
"There is nothing, and I mean nothing, that this world could throw at me that would keep me from you sweetheart."
A sob escaped Y/n's lips and before she knew it she was gasping for air through her cries. Her body shook with grief as sobs racked her frame. Y/n tucked her head into her hands as she screamed. She tensed as she felt strong arms wrap around her and hold her tight, "It hurts. It hurts so much Sam." Sam placed his chin on her head as he rocked her back and fourth in his arms.
