Vicious Circles

Chapter 1: Causes and Missing Parts

Never thought life would be this hard. Hearing voices inside my head, doing things that I wouldn't normally do. It's not nice living with something you believe is true.

Well to start from the beginning, it all started in secondary school. I was bullied and had friends who would use me, yes I know most children that age are like that but it hurt me mentally, and took away parts of me I miss.

Secondary school was hard for me I couldn't sit still but never distracted anyone in a class, never got "C points" as we call it and nearly never got told off. I was top of the school for 3 years on praise points and had 100 percent attendance for 3 years in a row. Until year 9, everything seemed to go down hill. I still never got into trouble but I was frightened of people around me. I would be scared of teachers, specific teachers and my heart would race just being around them. I would act strangely to get attention of them because I was a needy child and always wanted to be praised.

All the way up to year 9 teachers would say I was top of class and would always be called a teachers pet by peers. I was always bullied for putting 110 percent into everything and always bullied for being me.

Fast forward to year 9 again were all went don't hill. Back to when times were even harder and the constant staying up for hours upon hours upon hours being terrified of specific teachers in my school. Thinking of different scenarios I put my self into, it was almost like ptsd.

I remember at school I would feel like these specific teachers that I was scared of were staring at me so I would always look at them to see. When I say scared I meant petrified...Well this went on for years for 2 years. Then on March the 12th I had an phycotic episode.