I haven't been in terms with my thoughts and feelings lately. It's like having an unfinished task or project, it lingers in your head. It bugs you everyday every night, and when you confront it, you cower in fear because of it's absurdity.
It's strange isn't it? It sounds exactly like procrastinating, but for abstract thoughts. For unfinished breakdowns, for unsaid emotions. Fascinating as it might seem, I'm suffocating from the fog it continues to bring.
My thoughts are in pieces, a jigsaw is you must. Knowing the bigger picture but not knowing what to do. I'm like playing a game I can never win. Playing chess without a board, playing poker without cards. It feels like I'm a pawn at my own castle. A Jester at my own home.
Sabotaging everything I do. Disoriented. Confused. Dissociating. It all feels the same. Love. Lust. Liquor. Drowns you all the same. Money. Power. Influence. Gives nothing but a cycle.
How do I stop? Being paralyzed, being stuck in my own head? How do I stop? Thinking about the outcomes I haven't even gotten to yet. How do I stop? Can you please make it stop?
× застрял в параличе
YOU ARE READING
12 AM
Non-FictionI caught myself thinking about something out of my control once again. This time, I recorded it, and maybe once I'm healed, I can read my past thoughts and smile at how far I've come. This is a collection of thoughts of Feral. Existentialism is wha...
