You broke me for nothing...

Chapter 28

Chris pov...

She had fallen asleep in my arms... Other than, i had not seen it coming... She had not said much. But it was a start... I had just let her sit in my lap, rocking her back and forth while rubbing her back. I try my best to comfort her and let her let it all out... But again, other than i did not see it coming... Not much more came out... 

The sobbing slowly quieted down and when i looked she was asleep... It is not surprise she is sleeping. She is still recovering from the physical attack... Her face is getting better and i dont know what the other injuries are... God i hope i am not hurting her... For a moment i panic thinking i might hold her to tight but she does not seem to be in pain... So, i force myself to relax... She is not struggling against me and the fact that she is asleep in my arms must clearly mean that she is comfortable... 

I never thought she would be comfortable around me ever again... I know that if the circumstances had been different, she probably would have never been... But i take what i can get... Of course, i would have rather her be happy with her baby... But still... Maybe it is a chance for us... I wish i could give her, her baby back but i can't... One thing i do know... either way her relationship with the bastard would have not survived... His true nature would have come out sooner or later... Of that i am sure. Men like that can only keep up the facade for so long...

I watch her sleep... Her face is red and a little puffy from crying but for now she looks relaxed and at peace... I kiss her forehead, and she snuggles into me in her sleep... I love it... I love how she gravitates towards me in her sleep... I yawn as my workout has warn me out and i feel myself get tired... Would i overstep if i lay down and sleep with her...? I move her and lay down...  I feel exhaustion take over... My body relaxing and i move Kate, so she is comfortable... I am surprised when she does not wake up but seems to move with me like some sort of magnet... 

I wrap her in my arms, she immediately snuggles into me in her sleep... I take a deep breath as i feel her breath on my neck while she buries her face into me... Memories flush into my mind as i remember a time this was normal... A time that this was everything... Good times... Happy times... My whole body shivers as her hot breath fans over my neck... I feel her lips on my skin... Is she kissing my neck in her sleep? No... I must be imaging it... Wishful thinking... 

Or am i... God this is confusing... I am not imagining it as one hand slides under my shirt... She snuggles into me more and i feel my whole body relax... I feel my eyes get heavy... I convince myself that i am just going to rest my eyes for a second... Just a few seconds... But soon i doze off and fall asleep...

Kate pov...

I am warm... Warm and comfortable... I realize why, when i open my eyes... I am laying on the couch... Chris his arms wrapped around me tightly and my face buried in his neck... For a moment i panic and want to pull back... But Chris opens his eyes and blushes but with a lazy sleepy smile on his face... "How are you doing?" He asks in a groggy yet comforting tone... His smile is soft... I get lost in his eyes that are barely open...

"I am okay..." I say and give in and snuggle back into him. I feel comfortable and safe... The panic had immediately gone when he opened his eyes... I can feel him take in a deep breath and he wraps his arms tighter around me... I feel him plant a kiss on the top of my head... He is doing this a lot and i dont hate it... I dont hate any of this... That is the confusing part of it all... I feel safe... I should not... This is the man that left me when he thought i would die and yet... That feels so long ago and although the old Chris is still there in some regard, he feels... Older... More mature... Just different...

Part of me wants to pull back and protect myself from more hurt but a bigger part of me is wanting this... It is nice to feel cared for... To be held and just snuggle... To be comfortable and at peace... To not be scared... I am not scared... This realization surprises me... I am not scared...

We lay on the couch in silence... Chris is rubbing my back slowly up and down.... I hum and snuggle into him more...He shivers as i repay the favor by sliding my hand under his shirt and softly scraping my nails over his skin... 

"Sweetheart..." Chris says his voice low... I dont answer just hum... "I want to be respectful... But my body is thinking otherwise... It has a mind of its own..." He says his voice strained and i blush... "Sorry..." I whisper stopping immediately and he sighs... "Dont be sorry... It feels nice... But i dont want you to feel uncomfortable..." He whispers and i sigh...

"I am not... This is kind of nice... It is a little confusing... But i like this..." I whisper and i feel him take in a sharp breath... "You do?" He asks and i can hear the surprise in his voice... "Yeah..." I say in a sigh... "I dont understand..." He whispers and i chuckle... "Yeah... Me neither..." I mumble and he tightens his grip on me... "Chris... Can't breathe..." I groan but i can't help but smile a little... "Sorry... Sorry..." He says loosening his grip a little and hum... 

"I am happy you are comfortable..." He whispers and i hum again... "Me too... It is just weird... With our past... I..." I start to say but he cuts me off... "I was the last person you thought you would be comfortable around..." He whispers and i sigh... "Yeah... Sorry..." I whisper feeling a little bit crappy for saying that as he has been nothing but nice and supportive now... "But i am not... I am comfortable..." I quickly follow up... "I am so sorry... You dont know how sorry i am... I was a fool... A selfish ass... I gave up on us... I let you down... If could do it all over..." He says rambling and i maybe a fool but i really believe him... We are not the same people we were back then... I put my hand over his mouth shutting him up... 

"Chris... I... I... I forgive you..." I whisper a little shaky... It came out of the blue but i meant it... Again, i might be a fool... But right now, i am comfortable and holding a grudge seems so... Pointless... He is here... He is stepping up when it is not really his responsibility... I feel lighter... Forgiving him was not only for him... I think it was for me to...