Zustin - A new start

Anti-anxiety pill

Justin's POV:

Faggot
Faggot
Faggot

The word keeps repeating in my mind. I get taken back to the day I was outed, the day that changed my life. I get taken back to hearing people yelling that fucking word after me, in school, in the streets, at supermarkets.

As soon as the bell rings, I rush out of class. I ask Kendall to let the administration lady know I had to leave because I'm feeling sick.

While Zayn was down there, defending himself against the idea of being gay, I found Kendall and Harry. I told them about last night and what just happened. As always, they were amazing, helping me calm down. They suggested I try to get through the first class and then see how I feel about the rest of the day. I followed their advice, but I couldn't stay another second.

I sprint out of the school and see Zayn still sitting in the classroom across the hall, talking to the teacher. He looks up, catching my eye, and raises his hand, signaling for me to wait.

I don't. I dash to my car, jump in, and drive away. I call Noelle's kindergarten from the car, informing them I'm picking her up early.

After picking her up, I call Lauren and Melissa, asking if we can come over. They say yes.

With Noelle in the car, I start to calm down. Her presence is like a personal anti-anxiety pill. She chats about her day so far, expressing joy that I came early and excitement when I tell her we're going to see Jack.

At their house, Noelle and Jack immediately start running around. I keep getting calls and texts from Zayn but turn off my phone.

Lauren, Melissa, and I sit down for coffee, talking about a little bit of everything. I don't feel like discussing what happened—I just need some company. We have lunch together, and then decide to go to the mall for shopping. Noelle needs new shoes; she's running around so much she wears them out faster than I do.

We have a great time, with Noelle and Jack napping in their strollers during the shopping. After finding what we need, we sit at a café for coffee. I order Noelle a smoothie and we share a piece of blueberry pie—well, she mostly eats it, but I don't mind.

My whole body freezes when I see Zayn walking hand in hand with a girl from school whose name I can't remember. They don't see me. I'm not sure if I'm relieved or hurt by that.

_________________________

Over the next few days, I stay home from school. It's not to avoid Zayn—though that's a nice bonus—but because Noelle is sick.

Zayn has called and texted a thousand times, as well as knocked on our door. I just can't face him right now, so I don't answer, no matter how much he pleads.

After four days, Noelle starts to get better. I drop her off at kindergarten and then head to school. Kendall has been delivering my homework, so I haven't missed much.

I step into the school.