Zero times

Zero times part Zero

It was the fall of my eighth grade year. I started the new school year off at thirteen years of age.  I suddenly saw her, my school crush. She is the smartest, most beautiful strawberry blonde girl I have ever met.. Or really anywhere I have ever seen people. I do not know why. She and I barely ever spoke. I probably looked at her as often as she did me up to that day. Zero times.

 Then one day I just looked at her, and I suddenly wanted to be good enough to hold her hand. Yes, as cheesy as this is, that is as far as I ever thought. I was stupid. I did not know what to do with a girlfriend outside of the television shows and movies portrayed. But it was not like I could ask my best friend. He did not care for that role and it showed how often I would say hello to him every morning. And every morning I got ignored. Would be a running pattern in my life. But that would become a running theme for much of my life as well. Something he makes clear in a bit. 

Anyways, her name is Wade. She had beautiful long strawberry blonde hair. The red, black and white school girl uniform looks fabulous on her. She wore the skirt to her knees. A white blouse covered by the red school sweater. Black saddle shoes. She was developed. Looking back she was stacked from the front to the back. At that time however I was mesmerized by her eyes. She says they were hazel when asked, but they shined like emeralds. She smelled of Christmas. She did not wear makeup. Just some lip gloss that made her lips seem to sparkle. Also its a northern state it was cold so to keep them from chapping also. She was all about education, she was in the top one percent of the class. So like all teenage boys I would feel like I never made it onto her radar. But what do I know.

I sat behind her in one class. The teacher probably wanted to hit the stupid kid behind the smart one. Also probably hoped some of her smarts would fall off onto me. The teacher gave creepy man vibes. Rumors also speak of him enjoying the young girls. Just rumors so far.

I would come to class and sit in my seat. I would say nothing. I did get some acknowledgement from other kids around me, but in general if no one had to talk with me they did not. 

One day Wade sat before me with her hair up in a ponytail. I saw so many strands of hair on her sweater. I at first counted them. Then I got bored with that and started pulling them off of her sweater. I did not keep them. I just tossed them to the floor. 

She did not seem to notice that day. But two weeks later, she turned around while I was pulling off strands and gave me the look of could you please not touch me. So I stopped. 

A handful of days passed and she wore her hair down. I went back to day dreaming as I looked out the window, unaware I was scribbling gibberish onto the notebook. I was writing poems and short stories. I got cocky as I won three school contests and some scam company said I was placed in their national poetry contest to buy this book to see it kind of dealy. Then I looked up from the page to see she was putting her hair up and dangling the ponytail at me like you know you want to.

“Ahem.” she said, clearing her throat which caught my attention. 

I looked around the room as everyone else seemed to be listening to the teacher. Wade then stretched, shaking loose some hairs as she sat up straight. So I resumed pulling the stray hairs from her sweater. This would go on for a few more weeks. Not saying a word to each other. Just her using her monkey to clean up her many loose ends.

This is when my so-called best friend of the last four years took notice of things I can only assume. As I received a phone call from him late one day. First time in months also. So I was happy to hear from him outside of school since he was ignoring me inside of school. 

“Hey how are things?” I asked him as I heard some giggling. I assumed it was his sister as I met her many times and she enjoyed smoking weed and watching foreign films. A few times watching them with me.