The Crowded Room

6. The Protective Instinct.

"Shaved?’’

‘’Yes.’’

‘’Exfoliated?’’

‘’Yes.’’

‘’Washed your hair?’’

‘’Yes.’’

‘’Brushed your teeth?’’

‘’Yes.’’

‘’Right, time for underwear!’’

I grab the small pile of the neatly folded red lacy underwear and dangle it in the air for Mila to see.

I’m sure guys don’t make all this effort.

Her smile shines brightly as she nods with eager excitement. I roll my eyes as I start to put on the red lace that barely covers any of my exposed bits. Convicted with surprise she analyses me thoroughly.

‘’That looks amazing on you.’’

Ah yes, what wonders red does for my pale complexion.

Radio by Lana Del Rey starts playing through her speakers and it feels as though Miss. Del Rey awakens the fem fatale urge in me to consume the souls of all men. As Mila starts to do her makeup I refill our wine glasses, topping them up more than necessary. Then placing my glass down on her bedside table, I see Mabel eagerly stare at my glass as if it’s her prey. Her poignant eyes narrow as she backs up slowly ready to pounce.

‘’No.’’

I shoo her away with my hands and she quickly sprints across the bed onto her next adventure, I then lay my stockings flatly down on the bed next to my floral skirt and black turtleneck. I stare at the combination nodding in approval for my choice of clothed garments. I start to dress strategically, first the stockings, then the turtleneck, then the skirt which I quickly zip up after what seems like a long struggle to move it over my hips and lastly, I zip up my long black leather boots that come up to below my knees. Loosening my dark locks, my hair cascades down my shoulders and back. I roll my hands down each side of my skirt that accentuates my curves. I stare at myself in the mirror. Feeling satisfied with the carful assembled outfit I turn to Mila to silently ask for her approval.
Her long, luscious hair sways elegantly from side to side as she spins towards me. Her teal eyes are sharp and highlighted as she scans them over me. It feels as though I am a fascinating specimen placed under a microscope but just before she’s about to dissect me further with her intensified orbs, she grabs one of her makeup brushes and starts to gently stroke certain areas on my face. Like a painter, her touch is soft and precise as she swirls the brush around then abruptly stops to look at her masterpiece. She nods in approval. I look at myself. Nothing else has much changed since a minute ago, perhaps my cheekbones stand out a little more than usual and my skin shines more radiantly, making me feel a little more confident.

‘’You look beautiful bestie.’’

Smiling at her, I tug at her necklace and place it neatly on top of her silky green top she’s wearing that makes her eyes pop.

‘’You look beautiful too.’’

We give each other a dearing hug then pull away.

‘’I kinda wish you didn’t have to go. I’m having so much fun getting ready with you.’’

I can’t help but giggle.

It’s been a privilege bestie.

‘’I know. I feel the same.’’

We hug again and the pit in my stomach returns once again. Why do I suddenly have this urge to cry? It’s just a weekend with a boy and after all I’m just getting ready with Mila, just like I’ve done millions of times before. So why do I feel so emotional?

Because everything is going to change now.

It was ridiculous to think it, but it was true. Of course, giving myself away not only physically but mentally to someone is a scary thought but exhilarating all at the same time. I haven’t done it in so long. I haven’t allowed myself to nor have I wanted to. But now, I do. I really do. And no matter what happens, all I know is that I have my best friend that’s here with me right now seeing me grow into a better person, that genuinely loves me for who I am and who I’m becoming. And I know she’ll be here after, no matter what happens. I know she’s proud of me for taking this step, I can see it in her smile. Her eyes begin to water and I look away with joyful laughter.

No! We are not going to cry!

‘’So, tonight’s the night.’’

She gives a stern nod but she’s trying to hide her smile.

‘’Are you ready, do you need anything?’’

I look down at my things. I have my duffelbag, handbag, jacket, and pillow as per Pierre’s request.

Which, thinking back, is a weird one, does he not have enough pillows?

‘’Everything checks.’’

Mila gives me pointed look.

‘’That’s not what I meant.’’

I frown at her.

‘’Well, what do you mean?’’

She moves towards her dresser and opens a drawer then takes out a condom and hands it in my direction.

I hesitate.

‘’No thanks. He’s a pretty boy, I’m sure he has his own.’’

Her look is stern returns.

‘’It wouldn’t hurt to just be extra safe.’’

I sigh.

‘’Fine.’’

Grabbing the packaged item from her hands I shove it into the deep ends of my duffel, far, far away.

Thanks mom.

With a triumphant grin she grabs her handbag and my pillow.

‘’Right. Are you ready to go then?’'