What do you need when you feel as if everything is falling apart? Whether that be plans or just life in general.
You need a hug.
Well, that's what I need, anyway. Not the kind that lasts just a few seconds; no, of course not. I'm talking about the kind that has the physical ability to break all 206 of my bones, the kind that's warm and comforting, the kind that says, "I'm not letting you go even if my life depended on it.", the kind that would lift the pile of rocks at the pit of my stomach with ease, telling me "it's alright" in a voice as gentle as the breeze on a spring's day - all by that one person.
Except for the fact that the 'one person' just left. Without ending all the burning negativity in-between us. The one I counted on, even in the toughest of times, my best friend, Jae. I mean, you could say that Jae was being the so-called 'bigger person' by walking away: but was he? After comforting me and then stabbing me in the back a day later? After knowing about everything I've been through, and using every little thing against me? Was he the good person, deciding to throw a whole load of salt over the fresh-as-fuck wound just for the sake of adding to the excruciating pain?
Exactly.
But the problem is that I can't lose him - we've practically known eachother since diapers. And to let someone that you've known forever go is just... indescribably wrong. Let's put it this way;
- You and your older sibling have a really good relationship, all until they make a joke (or actually insult you) about your insecurities, which leads to an extremely heated argument. You wouldn't wanna talk to them again, right? But you can't not talk to them; you're too close.
- all of a sudden, they move out without telling you. Now what.
That's basically what happened between me and Jae (except for the fact that we've never lived under the same roof and him moving out wouldn't make a damn difference to our hectic friendship).
And then he decides to turn his stuck up ass around.
