"Fine,I finally did it.I did what I wanted to do for a long time.i bought a diary i guess.kinda boring I know.well,that's what everyone told me.But since there's no one I could talk to I'll just write it down on some paper."
That's what was written on the first page of my new diary I bought in a bookstore nearby I practically can call my second home. Every time I get pocket money I would go there and buy books and sometimes comics,but mostly it's just dark romance or sometimes fantasy fiction.I've started reading when I was 12 years old and it didn't take long for my bookshelf to be filled with books,well some of them even had to be stored somewhere under my desk.I really like reading.Its like it's calming me down and makes me forget about everything that happens in my life. And trust me there's been a lot going on.
For example there's someone I really like.Its a girl who's in the same geography class as me and I kind of had a crush on her for a long time.she has really pretty long,brown hair and she smells like vanilla every time she walks by.My heart skips a beat every time she looks at me,or if I accidentally make eye contact when randomly seeing her in school.Spoiler,she's probably straight.
It's really difficult being a lesbian.I just wanna cry. But wait,no time to cry. There's plenty of things I have to get done by tomorrow.There's a project I have to finish before next week. I sill didn't even start yet. Besides,I still don't have a partner to work on the project with. Maybe there's someone in my class without a partner as well. Even though I don't like socializing with people.I actually kind of hate talking. I'm pretty sure some of the people in my class haven't even heard my voice before. I was always the "weird kid" for not talking to anyone or making friends. I guess I just like being alone,that's all. But now- oh i totally forgot the time...It's already so late and I haven't even started doing my homework. I walk over to my desk and grab the math book,a notebook and a pencil before heading back onto my bed.ugh so much work...I'm actually kinda tired.probably because I haven't slept in like 3 days. I should probably get some sleep after doing that homework. I begin writing down the right answers to the questions in the math book,until I'm completely done with everything.
Finally...I wish there was someone I could cuddle with right now. I'm so lonely.
I lay down on my bed and hug a pillow,that's what I'm always doing when I'm feeling lonely. If only she was here right now..but no,life has to be unfair like this.I hate thinking about her,it just makes me feel even more alone.I must have been really tired since it took me only 5 minutes more to fall asleep. The next morning I woke up a little late so I grabbed some canned orange juice and a tuna sandwich from the fridge and got on the way to school. It's not a long way to walk,probably like 10 minutes only. On the way to class I kept telling myself "It's just one day...it's just one day..." to concentrate on finding the right classroom,and not on the people who were looking at me. I started walking a little faster when I remembered I was already late. Wait what class do I even have now? Math? No. p.e? No. I pulled out my phone to see what I have now. Oh fuck. It's geography. What if I don't find a partner for the project? I'm pretty sure it's not allowed to work on it alone. Finally,I'm at the classroom and I open the door and walk in. Why's everyone staring at me? Is it cause I'm late or do I look weird? I sat down on my chair and looked around the room, laying my eyes on her...she's so pretty,and the way she talks and speaks to her friends...the sunlight shines on her eyes making them light up. She's so cute. Oh god what am i thinking...I need to concentrate on the work,and not on a girl I don't even have a chance with.
Timeskip: I'm home,finally. School wasn't even that bad today. Well okay it was bad. Bad thing number one: I got the answer for the homework wrong,by accident and now it's noted as "not done". Bad thing number two: I WAS ASSIGNED TO PARTNER WORK WITH THE GIRL I LIKE!!!–
