To break and To fix.

knee deep in chaos

Nobody's POV~

Jacob continued his perfect acting for Three whole weeks since Edward's rejection.
In his first week he had bad stomach cramps. Like, you would actually think something is both growing in, and ripping his insides and the same time. but he played it Cool Infront of his friends or dad.
In the second week he noticed he had a loss of appetite and what followed along was that he started loosing a bit of muscle and weight, but luckily no one noticed. Thank God. But he knew that the speed of his weight loss was because of the side effects of an imprint's rejection.
And in his third week, Jacob just feel withdrawn but tried to play it cool. For the sake of him...

on the fourth week, Jacob was visiting Seattle, lying to everyone that he's going to check for some groceries when in reality he just wanted to get away from the pack and his dad. They'd become suspicious as to why he wore baggy clothes now, and not too long ago, Seth had caught him shivering, but god on what he lied to the kid to make him forget that incident...

Jacob's POV~

I rode here by taxi because..well..i didn't trust myself behind handles and wheels at the moment. After a good walk,reflecting on my fucking miserable and sad life,I found myself walking next to a homey looking Cafe. I smiled. It reminded me of my home back in Oregon when my mother was alive.... Before I moved here to forks. Back to dad's 'homeland' when I was 7 after my mom's death.... Hard depressing times... When my two older twin sister were 18 and I 12, everything begun changing. but before that, it was only me dad Rebecca and Rachel. When our mother died it hit our family HARD. but Rebecca and Rachel helped our father and me, recover from the pain by taking our mother's place in the house, temporarily ignoring their own pain.

Soon at 17, Rebecca met a professional surfer from Hawaii named Solomon Finau and married him as soon as she turned eighteen years old. She followed him to Hawaii to live with him, and travels with him for his competitions. Part of her reason for leaving La Push was to escape the memories of our deceased mother and father in a wheelchair who was slowly dying of diabetes. Soon after, Rachel left when she was 19 to head to university on a scholarship. We all know the reason she even applied for a scholarship wasn't really because of finances but was so she wouldn't see her stoic and depressed father everyday. But it truly hurt her to leave me. It hurt both my sisters. So there I was. A 13 year old boy singlehandedly taking care of both himself and his disabled father. Life was just FUCKING peachy.

Stupid memories......

As I peeled my eyes off the cafe and wiped a stray tear, I heard someone call me in a cheery voice. oh no... it's Bella. I haven't spoken to her in like 4 weeks! I mean, why would I since I imprinted on her boyfriend Edward...... wait... if she's here then.. doesn't that mean.. I turned my head around slowly to the direction of her voice.

I turned around and froze. There she was, Bella Swan.... and with her... Edward Cullen. looking like he didn't even see me. I had been avoiding bell since i imprinted on her vampire boyfriend for a reason...I didn't want to face her angry and hurt self when... If.... She found out..

I swallowed hard and forced a smile. Why does the universe have to be such a bitch to me. "h-hi bella... w-what are you doing here..?" And at the corner of my eye I saw Edward roll his eyes at me.

Bella looked at me, her face a mask of confusion and hurt. She had been looking for Jacob, wanting to talk to him about why he hadn't been seeing or calling her. "Hi... um... Edward and I were just here to see the movies... what about you?"

" oh. um I was just... sightseeing! yeah.. it's good to get out of la push for a while now and then heh heh" I lied through my fucking teeth. Sightseeing!? Really!? Of all the fucking responses I had to go with that!? but obviously my best friend saw right through me.
Bella raised an eyebrow, not buying it for a second. She knew Jacob too well to think he would be out sightseeing without her. "cut it Jake. you of all people should know I know when you're lying. spill it."

" n-nothing's wrong I promise..."I LIED.
Bella crossed her arms over her chest, clearly not buying his story. "Don't lie to me, Jacob. You've been avoiding me for weeks, and it's not like you to blow me off. What's going on?"

" .......... I..... I'd rather not tell you...." I said looking down avoiding both her and.... Edward's gaze. Making sure to block my mind. My thoughts... Despite it giving me a headache the size of Paul's big head.

Bella sighed, knowing Jacob well enough to know when he was hiding something. She reached out and gently touched his arm, though wondered why he flinched a bit... and.. did his temperature feel cooler? Like as in, human temperature? Not his normal werewolf 108 degrees. "did you become cooler Jake?"

"I'm always cool Bells" I said putting on a smug grin that had to be forced on my face.

"You know I don't mean that. It's just...you feel normal. Like me." Said bella as she slightly squeezed Jake's hand.

I sighed " how would you know my temperature bells. You barely even touch me. You always say he, doesn't like my scent..." I said and it felt like I had to force razors out of my mouth just to say it.

"Jake, you know what forget it....I know you're going through something tough right now. But you can't keep pushing me away like this.. listen, Jake... whatever it is, you can tell me" pleaded Bella

" you wouldn't be saying that if you knew what was wrong......" I muttered

Bella's heart skipped a beat at his muttered words. She knew Jacob well enough to know that whatever was wrong, it had something to do with her, if his tone was any indication. Her mind raced with possibilities, none of them good. "Jake... please tell me. Maybe I can help you. Is it-"

"There's nothing you can do about it bells...."

" Jake please...atleast tell me...please..." Begged bella.

How can I deny my best friend...despite knowing said best friend will hate me after i tell her the truth.

Though I was very capable of keeping it to myself and lying IF, only.. he, hadn't glared at me..

"I.... I imprinted....."