𝓾𝓷𝓱𝓮𝓪𝓵𝓽𝓱𝔂 𝓲𝓷𝓯𝓪𝓽𝓾𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷 • 𝓳𝓪𝓵𝓵𝔂 | ✓ |

9. 𝓪𝓻𝓻𝓲𝓿𝓪𝓵

                                   |9|
    "something bad is 'bout to happen to me.
        i don't know it but i feel it coming."
            ||DARK RED; STEVE LACY||
︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵
TW: UNDERAGED DRINKING, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS
︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵
i started my walk down the cracked concrete to buck's house.

i walked alone, as i usually prefer to, but this time i really wish i wasn't.

i wish i had someone with me to talk to, someone to talk about everything, but nothing at the same time.

someone to apologize to.

goddamn.

i really miss pony.

it really wasn't that big of a deal. was i at fault? of course i was, but if he would just let me say sorry, everything should be fine. he's making it out to be something way bigger than it really is.

he just knows how to make me feel worse.

cars sped by and i heard many unholy remarks made by some of the soc's that passed by but i didn't let it stop me. i just kept walking.

that's something about me; no matter how hard i get hit, no matter how mentally drained i am, no matter how rough things may get, i keep going.

however, it really has gotten tough here recently. sometimes i really do wonder how things would be if i were gone.

but after tonight, it's all gonna be alright.

it's gonna be the best night of my life.

i continued walking and before long i could hearing the blaring country music from around the block. soon, i made it to the building and i saw darry's truck parked. darry never goes to party's, so i assumed it was soda and possibly steve.

i was late, of course. who arrives to a party directly on time? i opened the door and the bright red fluorescent lights immediately irritated my eyes, but i'd soon get used to them.

i maneuvered my way through the mass amounts of people in order to possibly find someone i knew.

i accidentally spotted ponyboy in the corner with cherry while i was looking around. he and i met eyes, in which he formed a disgusted look at the sight of me, and went back to talking to cherry. i decided to just try and blow it off.

after a few minutes of searching, i saw soda and steve at the bar. i immediately rushed over to them, due to me growing anxious because of all the people around that i didn't know. i get like that now, ever since i got jumped by those soc's, i can't really trust anyone unless i really know them.

"well heya johnny!" soda greeted me once i managed to get over to them.

"hey soda, hey steve."

"when'd you get here?" steve asked as he took a swig from his coor's can.

"just a second ago, i walked here."

both soda's and steve's eyes widened once i said that.

"alone?!" they questioned in unison. i nodded in response. "johnny, you know you shouldn't be walking alone." soda calmly reprimanded me.

"i'm alright, aren't i?" i responded. i wasn't in the mood for any pep talks, i was here to have fun.

he turned to look at steve and shrugged.

"do you want a drink?" steve asked me, finishing off his own.

i suddenly remembered what i said earlier.

i said i was gonna get wasted.

here i go.

"sure, i'd love one." i finally replied.

he then turned to the bartender and looked back at me.

"whad'ya want johnnycakes?"

i had no idea the names of alcohol.

hell, you'd think being surrounded by it all these years would give me some knowledge of it, but i seriously had no clue. i felt embarrassed.

"surprise me."

steve then said something to the bartender but i couldn't hear due to the loud music. the bartender then turned away and began to prepare the drink. after a second, he returned with 3 full shot glasses and slid them over to us.

we each picked up our glasses and held them for a moment. "to partying!" steve called out cheerfully. soda shook his head slightly and giggled before turning to face me.

"to partying!" we both yelled in unison before clinking the glasses together and downing the shot. i suddenly got a strange gut feeling, but i discarded it quickly.

like we said, "to partying!"