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Chapter 4: Now you look like my lover

KAIRO

Meeting a boy in pre-k I never thought would lead us to be real close friends as we grew up. We were more like brothers sometimes, annoying brothers who fought each other and couldn't stand being away from each other for too long. But something happened within months, and Noah started to look different to me. Not in the sense that he physically changed. It was the way how I started to see him as my lover.

If I tilt my neck to get a better look at him, I'll see stuff. Stuff I never noticed before that went overlooked for years, but now it's like I'm zoomed in to the max to examine my best friend. Little things about Noah had more detail than they did before.

His almond eyes, resembling the rich hue of cinnamon, shimmered in the soft light, adorned with scattered flakes of gold. The gentle touch of his slim fingers stroking my arm when I'm stressed and his fingers tenderly pressing against my back convey the longing of days apart. In moments of wordless eagerness, his large hand would recklessly find its way to my neck, offering it a light squeeze because he can't verbally say "I need you." And then his smile radiated a warmth that coursed through me, enveloping me in a comforting embrace.

I longed to press my lips against Noah's body, tracing every inch that he had shared with me.

But it wasn't meant to be this way. Yet, I found myself deeply in love with my best friend. The words echoed incessantly in my mind, like my favorite song on repeat. I searched for a lie within this feeling I felt for Noah. Hoping that these emotions I harbored didn't exist for a boy who embodied the warmth of summer.

Today, After Noah was done with classes, he came over to my house to hang out, but he didn't expect Arjun to be here. He made a face pulling me out of the kitchen into the living room. A rerun of Full House played being background noise.

"You cheating on our friendship, now, man?" Noah looks over my head into the kitchen before his eyes come back to mine.

"Arjun wanted to hang out with us," I said. But the look in Noah's eyes let me know he wasn't feeling Arjun being here. "He's different, he's not going to–"

"I just thought it would be just you and me hanging out." He pouts. And I thought it was the cutest thing. I remember one time pointing out that he pouts when he gets jealous, but he denies that he doesn't pout. In his words: Only girls and kids pout.

I cup his face, feeling the need to comfort him like I did when we were kids, my thumbs softly caressing his cheeks. And I feel how he relaxes in my touch. If I saw him as a friend, I wouldn't have noticed something so minor–but I saw him as a lover and every little thing I noticed about him was major.

"Arjun isn't like the people who we used to hang around. So you don't have to worry."

"He's weird."

"He isn't...He's just unique."

I didn't see why Noah thought Arjun was weird. He didn't give off weird vibes to me. He can be goofy in serious moments. It's his way of coping, he told me.

"Whatever." Noah rolled his eyes. "Zariah called me, cussing me out over that damn hoodie."

"Dude, why don't you just block her?"

"She knows where I live and has brothers who can beat my ass, Kairo."

We walked into the kitchen. Arjun is watching a video on his phone, he says hi to Noah and Noah grumbles hi back as he pulls out a chair at the table and plops down.

"What are we getting into today?" Arjun asked, looking up from his phone.

"Watching anime. I guess." I said since that was the only thing I could think of doing.