Dance the Knight Away

Dylan Grahm

Dylan Grahm

Tuesday, October 12th, 7:28 A.M.

This is it, my first day at a new school in a new state. I’ve left my friends and enemies behind. It is a new place to reinvent myself. At least that’s what my mother says. I still feel bad everything considered. I’m the reason my family had to move anyway. I grew up in a small town in Utah. Being gay there doesn’t exactly fly without complaints. It’s not entirely my fault. I mean, I never meant to come out. I just wanted to feel the same happiness that my classmates were able to. 

I watch the buildings pass as my mother drives me to school. The images of what happened between me and Hunter flashed through my head like the remnants of a horror movie. I still can’t believe I kissed him. Ugh, biggest mistake of my life. I will never live down the way he shoved me away. And I really thought he liked me! We hung out every day and I thought we had built a strong bond. And maybe we did just not like the one I had made up in my mind for us.

That version of us doesn’t matter anymore because the version of who I thought he was doesn’t exist either. I had created this whole narrative of who I thought he was but he took that idea and lit it on fire, then he put it out with his spit and the bottom of a dog shit-stained shoe. What did he do that was so bad? Maybe just the fact that he outed me to the entire school and got me outcasted and bullied to the point that my parents had to pull me out of school. After that, My parents moved as far as they could and now we live in New York. Well upstate. It’s not the glamorous Broadway life I hoped for but it's okay. 

My music switches songs and I can hear my mother’s voice trying to get my attention. 

“Dylan! Baby!” she calls from the front seat. 

I push my headphones off of one ear and sit up straight. “Yeah, Ma?” I respond. 

“We are getting close to the school.” She says glancing into the rearview mirror to make sure I heard her. 

I nod and grab my book bag. She pulls into the parking lot and I push open my door And try to stand. I get the swirly feeling in my gut and stumble. Not the most confidence-boosting start but I can recover. I swing my bag over my shoulder and with long strides, I walk into the building.

I push the big double doors open with a force that is too great for the weight of the door which causes me to stumble and fall flat on my face. Shit. I look up and fix my glasses on my face. I look up and see this guy running towards me.

“Hey, you good?” He asks as he extends his hand down. 

I ignore the question and the hand and stand up on my own. He pulls back his hand and looks down, almost sheepishly if it wasn’t for the smirk on his face. 

“Uhm, did you hear me?” He asked. I could have sworn I heard some dejected sympathy before he and his friends started laughing in my face. 

From the crowd behind him, I hear someone shout “Go Tommo!” I look back up at the boy and open my mouth to defend myself but something holds me back and I shut my mouth. I turn on my heels and walk away from the group of boys and I’m decently sure I heard one of them bark at me. Not sure what his problem is but that is none of my concern right now.

I lift my head and I see a plaque in the distance with the word “OFFICE” engraved into it. Perfect. I walk over to the door and pull it open. There's a strong smell of mint that I trace back to the woman behind the desk. I rest my arm on the desk, leaning over so I can be seen more easily. She looks over at me and pops her gum in her mouth. 

“What can I do for you sweetheart?” She asks with a voice more detached than her words had seemed. 

“Uhm I’m Dylan? Graham?” I state but it definitely comes out as more of a question.