Tales of Everyday

Her in Those Days

A mere text from a person that had lightened up your past, can put a smile on your face but if it is dear thing she remembered from the old days, it is a wide grin from ear to ear. You never realize how you yearn for the details of the past in your day and how special it would be just to hear the person say it again- the nickname that was shared between the two of you, a right shared with only her, who gave you the name. It is astonishing how you only think of her when you hear even the tiniest whisper of that name; her and the sweet days.

Back then when everyone were blank faces and freshly sculpted lines, amid all the acquaintances being made, she was the only one I reached for, only one I called my friend. It is not the opposite that attracts you but the personality you most resemble to, that instant connection you feel as you see yourself in that person is what draws you into the friendship. The glee excited on your face as you pile up stories to tell her, making plans of attending marriages at the age of fifteen knowing it's a long way ahead but still believing there to be no reason you might not be as close after the years. The endless chatters that were privy to only you, that gained the endless trust you held in her. And amid all this, raises the notion of deciding a nickname for each other urged by the pride you take in your friendship, greed to be the best for her, a sense of possession over her and a biting jealousy when you see her call anyone else her friend; a nickname only you both reserve the privilege to use.

It is fascinating how even after all these years that name still makes you grin like the fifteen-year-old teenager you were, makes you delve into your past for a bit, recall all those memories of her that collected dust on them since you haven't thought of her as you lost yourself in the bustling world of adults, pretending to be the face of a mature independent adult; the adult who is nice to everyone, chats with everyone but doesn't have any 'best friends' because that notion was a thing of childhood for an adult who has grown up, failing to realise that the notion was never tied to the age but to the blissful innocence. The trust you gave away unconditionally as you started getting to know a person has become so precious to the adult, you have held it so tight not letting anyone near it, caging it or perhaps yourself in your own world made of one- yourself. You do not want to take a chance anymore with the people you trust because of all the big bad wolves that tore at your flaws and preyed on your vulnerabilities you say, but you know you are only fooling yourself with that; only you know that you just don't want to go through an ordeal again, you think you are better off with acquaintances who don't know you rather than friends who will know you too much and you will never admit it to yourself but you are scared of people turning away from you and leaving you in the woods.

That is why the old friendships when they surface again are like an unexpected bouquet of flowers at the doorstep, colouring the otherwise plain day with uninteresting over the top conversations with barely sketched faces you can hardly recall at the end of the day.