Take Me Home | CHANLIX

Heart Attack

Chan was already awake when Felix opened his eyes, tucked against his chest, Chan's hands scratching through Felix's hair. Felix had been on the blurry edge of sleep and consciousness for a little while, but it was warm and safe in Chan's bed, and Felix hadn’t wanted to get up just yet, so he'd kept his eyes closed, dozing in the protective circle of Chan's arms.

Now, he stretched languidly, turning over to throw his arm across Chan. He'd gone to bed sated and tired, after their slow walk to Chan's house. They'd kissed under every streetlight, then made out when were finally in Chan's room, gotten hard, Chan had wanked them off again, and then they'd kissed again for what felt like ages until they'd struggled to keep their eyes open.

Waking up in Chan's bed felt exactly like it had as kids and yet completely different. Had they always been destined to grow into this, for sleepovers to turn into sleeping together, for hugs to become holding hands to become kissing?

'Morning, gorgeous,' Chan mumbled, kissing Felix's nose.

Felix preened under the attention, small as it was, cheeks growing hot, and he tucked his flushed face under Chan's chin. Despite how hard Felix had tried to leave hickeys, Chan's neck was devoid of bruises, only a few fading red spots near the hollow of his throat.

Felix pulled back. 'Did you cover me in hickeys?'

Chan grinned lazily, before his smile fell, sitting up further. 'Yeah, I did. Should I not have?'

'No, I--I like you covering me in bruises. But I didn't leave any marks on you. I tried so hard, and there's not a single hickey on you.'  He hadn't left any hickeys on Changbin, either, but Felix couldn't recall if he'd even tried. He couldn't remember if he'd kissed Changbin's neck. All memories of the things he'd done with Changbin flew out of his brain, replaced with memories of Chan's mouth and fingers.

Chan's smile returned, hand coming up to stroke over Felix's cheek. 'You're so cute. We've got all day if want, so you've got plenty of time to leave one on me if you like. For practise.'

'Aren't your parents going to expect to see you?'

'They'll probably be more interested in seeing you.'

Once upon a time, Chan and Felix had practically lived in each other's houses, their parents always half expecting to see another child at their dinner table. Felix missed Chan's parents almost as much as he missed Chan. God, had they they really gone two whole years without talking?

Felix pressed closer to Chan, pushing him until Chan rolled onto his back. Felix settled on top of him, shoving his face into his neck. Chan's arms wrapped around him, hand sliding straight under his pyjama top--one of Chan's T-shirts--and his other hand coming up to slide into his hair, fingers tracing patterns through Felix's scalp.

There was a peace in lying with Chan that Felix hadn't felt with Changbin. Maybe because Felix didn't have a friendship with Changbin, had leapt straight into their situationship; being around Changbin was like touching a plug socket with wet hands, going into it with the expectation of getting electrocuted, but finding it no less thrilling when it sparked, like playing with a long-awaited, brand new toy. But Chan was so familiar, so comfortable, Felix's own personal bit of Sydney here with him, an old favourite plushie. That he still wanted to fuck. Chan turned him on as easily as breathing; as attractive as Changbin was, it felt like a chore to Felix to try and get hard around him, relying on thoughts of Chan to get aroused.

What did that say? Felix liked Changbin. He did. He just liked Chan too, shared a history with him, happened to have a mind and body that zeroed in on Chan, reactive to his touch and seemingly his touch alone.