This book is dedicated to someone I love the most. He had been my guy, he used to be my one and only, yung taong inakala kong makakaharap ko sa altar. Well, hindi ko pa naman alam kung anong mangyayari sakin o samin. Basta naging masaya ako sa kanya.
Thanks for all the memories I will treasure forever. Hindi man naging happy yung ending, kung ending na nga talaga. At least, nag-enjoy tayo sa company ng isa’t-isa thru those years.
I love you Yosh. My love for you is a passive love. It won’t fade away. It may not be visible but it’s present.
Thanks to my friends too. Thanks for all the support and all the booze up we had every cries and laughs. I love you guys. You’re the best of friends. I don’t regret having y’all.
Prologue
Positive thinking
For now, I have no choice but to think positive. After everything that happened, it’s really hard to get things back how it used to be. But that doesn’t mean it’s over. It means starting over again. Putting a smile on my face everyday makes me smile for real. It used to be a fake one but as I had it, it became just what I need and I got.
To think positive is to rebuild trust. Sometimes, mind over matter really works. And besides, positive thinking gets me out of being tamang hinala.
Positive thinking!
Not over thinking!
How did Yoshi and I met?
It was February 2010, I was in 3rd-year high school, I joined a clan. My best friend/classmate, Jane was the welcomer. (The one in charge of the new people who joins. She will be the one to send the newbie’s number to all of the members. And to recruit and stuffs.) The clan was made because one of their friends told them that if they will make a clan, he will buy drinks for us for the Meet-up. So, I joined because of my best friend. While we we’re in the clan I don’t care about Yoshi. He’s not the center of attraction that time, especially because that time his FB and FS picture sucks!
So, it’s the meet-up day. I didn’t really plan on coming but Jane fetched me. She went to our house just to push me on going. She was with “Prince.” (It’s a code name. And I already knew who Prince was even before the meet-up. I just can’t remember his name now.)
We got to the venue. It was just a little place with loud music, drinks, a beat box and lots of people. Lots of UGLY guys. I was shocked. I can’t see someone who looks like a person. Then a group of people came. There Yoshi was. He was with Yuki. (I already knew Yuki even before I knew Yoshi.) So, I was first attracted to Yuki. He’s fat but he’s cute. Then we sat together. I was in between Yoshi and Yuki. I didn’t give Yosh even a single wink or whatever. The attention was fully on Yuki. But of course, I see him cute. He wears a red and black long sleeve shirt, jeans and he has that hair. Long and emo-ish.
I was bored and it’s time to go home. The time I got out the door. I sent Yosh a text message.
Ang cute pala ng Yoshi.
Then he begun texting me always. Spamming me. And everything. I was just not interested because I have a boyfriend that time, Michael.
There was a time he texted and I did not respond. I was at Jane’s house (with Jane, ofcourse.) I was pretending that I don’t have load. I haven’t even sent any group message. But he texted Jane and asked about me.
Jane replied this: Kasama ko siya. Dito sa bahay.
Then I was like Oh God! What did you just say? I was stupid to forget to tell Jane not to reply on Yosh’s messages.
