Love Is So Painful

.

Love is so painful.

Static was all Vox saw.

He saw static and glimpses of Valentino, of when they spent 'alone time together'.

He recalls how rough it was, how he'd end up crying during and after each session and how Valentino would just smoke a cigarette and tell him the pain is what made it enjoyable.

And how he'd believe that.

How he'd yearn for his ex-partner to be more rough with him to show him love.

More love.

More attention.

More affection.

He's never been treated like that before, so it must've been love.

The pain was what made it enjoyable.

Was that really love?

"Hey, Vox, dear?" A familiar voice spoke, Vox snapped out of his trance, looking up to see his partner, Alastor.

"You zoned out again, is something wrong?" He asked, concerned.

"Ah, y-yeah.. Just, thinking," Vox shrugged, looking back down at what he was doing.

Work, just normal work.

He remembered how Valentino would never let him get his work done.

Alastor pet his shoulder, "What were you thinking about?"

The TV demon tensed up at the sudden touch, calming down when he remembered it was just Alastor.

Just Alastor.

"..No, just.. nothing important," Vox shrugged it off with a nervous laugh, "Just work things!"

Alastor was smart enough to know it wasn't work related.

Realistically, Alastor already knew all about Vox's past. He's talked about them before, however for some reason, he still felt like Valentino had him trapped.

Like a bird in a cage.

But he let it go for now.

-

Pain.

He remembers the feeling of pain.

Pain whenever Valentino would 'love' him, only using him like a toy for his pleasure.

It hurt.

Love hurt.

Valentino would treat him like a toy, whisper derogatory words that stuck to Vox, all because he loved him.

Right?

Love is meant to hurt.

All those times that Valentino would sexualize or objectify Vox hurt because he loved him.

All those times Valentino would treat him rough and harsh was because he loved him.

Valentino loved Vox.

Nobody else could love Vox.

He was unlovable. Valentino told Vox that he was lucky to even be loved by him.

Vox felt Valentino's hands on his hips.

Except it wasn't Valentino.

Alastor held Vox in his lap tight, planting a soft kiss on his neck. Vox came back to his senses.

Fuck, why has he been zoning out so much?

He was scared.

Scared of Valentino.