Forgetting Tomorrow

Chapter 1

One second has passed. One minute has passed. One hour has passed. One day has passed. One week has passed. And I'm still here,
contemplating whether to go to the company. Should I? Or should I not? Maybe I should. I should let go of this whole thing. You are the one. No. These memories are holding me back. What should I hold onto anymore? These hurtful memories? What is there left for me to mourn? Nothing. My cheeks turn red, and I try to hold back the tears. I cannot be like this. She would laugh at me, as if I'm the one who hasn't moved on yet. Well, were there any 'good' memories when I was with her? So, I decided to make an appointment with the company. One week from now, I'll go to the company. I've read all the descriptions, so I need to go through a procedure where the doctor 'puts me to sleep' in about one week. One week is okay for me. It's okay if I'm lost for one week. It's not like anyone's going to search for me. This company values their customers' privacy, and they will not go telling people that I'm one of their customers. So, one week from now, I need to prepare myself to forget all the painful memories. There's nothing good that comes with holding onto them, so I'm going to be okay.

Day - 7
I rose from the bed at 9:30 a.m. After showering, I headed to the cafe downstairs. As I opened the door, a familiar figure caught my eye.

"Oh, you work here?" I asked him. "Yeah, for the time being. Long time no see," he replied. "Well, I haven't been home in ages... I can't even remember the last time I saw my parents haha. But we're good. My life... it's good," I chuckled. I noticed Noah's nametag.

"As usual, Audrey?" the other barista asked with a smile. "Yes, as usual," I replied. Noah handed me the receipt and change. "I hope we can talk someday... about our lives," he said. I nodded, but internally questioned the purpose of such a conversation. My life felt like a mess. I took a seat near the cafe's door, feeling no desire to eat there. Noah was a friend, but not a close one. I couldn't recall any memories with him from elementary school, only his face.

"Audrey!" The barista's shout startled me, and I stood up to collect my order. "Thank you," I muttered. "Is Noah your friend?" Ryan asked. "Hmm, maybe," I replied noncommittally. He chuckled knowingly. "You know, you should make friends and be friends with him," he suggested. I nodded, but internally questioned why I should.

I returned to my room upstairs, contemplating my loneliness. Did I truly feel alone? Did I need new people in my life? Did I need new friends? Did I look so pathetic that even Ryan could notice? I examined myself in the mirror. Maybe. Just maybe, I did look pathetic. Skin and bone, with visible eye bags and dry lips. Most noticeably, there was no spark left in my eyes. I no longer felt excited to be alive.

Day -6
I decided that I'll join a party that Hellisa is holding tonight. Living away from my parents has its perks, like being able to make spontaneous decisions like this. If they were here, I know I couldn't do that. I always feel like they clip my wings, constantly imposing their expectations on me, which has contributed to me feeling like a mess. But I can't blame them entirely; it's my fault too. They have so many responsibilities that they often overlook me. They didn't notice me drifting apart, quietly dealing with my emotions on my own. I've never really opened up to them; they seem too preoccupied to care. Being the fourth child among my 5 siblings, I can't shake the feeling of being the unwanted one, even though they've never explicitly said so.
They never put a higher expectation on me to begin with. That's why it hurts more. After college, I made the decision to move away from my parents and the town we grew up in. It's not like I moved to the bustling city; my family still knows where I am, but I've set boundaries. Surprisingly, they seem to respect them. Being away from them brings me a sense of peace, even though it comes with loneliness. Landing a job as a data scientist at a prestigious global company has given me the independence to live alone. Working from home allows me to spend most of my time in solitude. My family is unaware of the heartbreak I've experienced; it's too embarrassing to share. I don't want to add to my mother's sadness; she already sees me as a disappointment.
-
So, I opted for a sleek black dress for tonight's party. Cruising over to Hellisa's place, I braced myself for what the night had in store. Hellisa, a coworker of mine, had always been a shining light in the office, known for her kindness and generosity. Stepping into her abode, I was immediately greeted by a throng of people - after all, it was a party. Amidst the sea of unfamiliar faces, I settled onto a chair out on the balcony, content to observe the festivities from a safe distance while nursing my drink.

Suddenly, a friendly tap on my shoulder jolted me from my reverie. "Audrey?" I turned to see Rayn standing there, his familiar face catching me off guard. "Oh, you're here too? You're... Lisa's friend?" I inquired, trying to place him. "Hellisa? No, I'm her brother, the older one," he replied with a warm grin. "Oh... how old are you?" I ventured. "27. And you?" he returned the question. "I'm 24... By the way, you look younger than your age - it's a compliment," I offered with a smile. Seemingly pleased, he joined me, settling into the chair beside mine.

"So, are you close with Lisa?" he asked, sparking a conversation. "We're coworkers... maybe... friends... yeah, you could say we're friends," I replied, trying to navigate the murky waters of office relationships. His chuckle echoed in the night air. "Every time I ask you about your friends, you give me the same answer. 'Maybe we're friends,'" he teased, taking a sip of his drink.

As we continued chatting, it dawned on me that Rayn was referring to Noah, another acquaintance of mine. Although Noah and I weren't particularly close, there was a certain familiarity between us - enough to warrant a friendly nod in passing. But was that enough to qualify as friendship? And what about Hellisa? Was there a fine line between coworker camaraderie and genuine friendship?

"I don't want to get my hopes up," I confessed, my gaze drifting downward. "What if I consider them friends, but they don't see me the same way?" Rayn's expression softened, his gaze meeting mine. "Then let me be your friend," he proposed, his sincerity shining through.

Could I trust him? Could I allow myself to let someone new into my life? "Sure, why not," I replied, a faint smile playing on my lips. "I've always... always wanted to talk to you," Rayn admitted, catching me off guard. "Because you live above my cafe, and you're one of my most loyal customers. I even remember your usual order," he confessed, his eyes twinkling with amusement.

Loyal customer? My eyebrows shot up in surprise. Sure, I frequented his cafe often, but to be considered a loyal customer? "You're the owner of the cafe?" I blurted out, unable to contain my astonishment. His nod confirmed my suspicions, sending a wave of disbelief washing over me. "Lately, you haven't been by as often. Is everything alright?" he inquired, genuine concern etched on his features.

"Oh... nothing's wrong. I've just been feeling a bit stressed lately, you know?" I replied, masking the true turmoil within me. In truth, I didn't know why I agreed to attend this party in the first place. Was it the allure of socializing, or was there something deeper at play?

"So, are we official?" Rayn's question snapped me back to reality, my eyebrows furrowing in confusion. "Official? What do you mean?" I asked, puzzled by his inquiry. "Official as friends," he clarified, his eyes locking with mine.

A smile tugged at the corners of my lips as I nodded, a sense of warmth enveloping me. "Yes," I replied, a newfound sense of excitement coursing through me. Maybe, just maybe, this unexpected encounter was the start of something new and exciting.