➸ 𝘾𝙧𝙤𝙨𝙨𝙧𝙤𝙖𝙙𝙨 (𝙎𝙝𝙤𝙧𝙩 𝙎𝙩𝙤𝙧𝙮) ✔

Crossroads

I sat, under the cherry blossom tree that illuminated the darkness surrounding me, not bothered by the petals that drench me with comfort. The pale bright moon stared down at me, giving me an encouraging smile that became my beacon of hope during my darkest times. I often find myself sitting under this very cherry blossom tree and staring at the moon whenever I am faced with an obstacle that obstructs my progress in life. Almost always, I will find my answer immediately; unfortunately tonight, the stars are delaying their alignment.

As I stared down at the crossroads that determined my life, I had a feeling I might be wrong. A chilling sense of foreboding washed over me as my pulse raced with uncertainty. Since young, the pressure to succeed has been wired into me through many means. It started with words before it ended with scars. Scars that run deep under the facade of my smile. To them, we are a perfect family. If only they knew what goes on behind the curtains of despair that muffles my cries of agony.

Now I sit here, contemplating my future. A future that I worked so hard to build only for it to be crumbling like a building of ashes. Since young, I never once thought of choosing a path since my whole life was already written the moment I opened my eyes. Whatever I did, it was already prewritten. There was no room for opinions because the moment you use your voice, you will face the consequences of your choice. I never once objected to the pages written in my next chapter but these few days, maybe I should have snatched away the pen from the start.

The rational side of me begged me to make my parents proud and pursue a life filled with nobility. The rashes on my body ached at the thought of my going against my captors. The voice in my head went on and on about how I could gain respect from everyone who once looked down on me. It promised me a life where money was the last thing on my mind whenever I left the house. It promised me silent vengeance on all those who placed their foot on my head, unable to treat me as one of their own.

Unfortunately, there was something else that whispered to me from deep within. Another voice dominated the veins in my body. A phantom that urged me to break free from predictability and routine; pushing me to chase down the fiery passion that fueled me from within. I could hear my heart pulsating through my rib cage at the mere thought of pressing my pen onto the paper; inking my life away in my fantasy. The adrenaline rushed through my bones as I felt the fingers scribbling away my darkest desires into an enigmatic code; its ebony shine glistening against the parchment. Oh, how powerful one would feel to be the author of their book and narrator of their life like a perfect little fairy tale?

With renewed determination, I looked up at the sky and smiled. The sky was a shimmering platter of uncertainty that lay awake during everyone's slumber. I knew it wouldn't be easy to take back the pen that was never mine to begin with but I have to start somewhere. If my passion is my purpose, then my purpose will be the gateway to my passion. As I retraced my steps back to the crossroads, the feeling that I might be wrong still lingered. However, it was no longer a paralysing fear. It had transformed into a source of motivation; a reminder that sometimes uncertain paths are what leads to the most extraordinary destinations. And so, with newfound courage, I made my choice:

I cocked the Glock at my temple and pulled the trigger.

My smile never left my lips.

-The End-