I sat against to the wall, at the corner of my room. I wrapped my shaky arms around my legs and hugged it close to my chest. My eyes drifts over to the darkness in front of me, as my heartbeat wavers.
''Go to sleep, go to sleep'' I muttered. But no use, I can't sleep whatsoever. No matter how much I try my efforts are pointless. I couldn't bear the thought of hearing a sound or even someone's voice nearby. Or notice a silhouette of a figure somewhere in my room. Sometimes it may be in a shape of a hand or a creature reaching out for me.. Maybe waiting for the right moment to scare the living shit out of me. Suddenly I heard the ringtone of my phone go off—I immediately shrieked and jumped. "SHIT!" I blurted out loud, watching my phone slipping from my grasp. As soon as I caught it before it lands on the floor, I covered my mouth. Fuck! I was too loud.
My eyes narrowed down to the screen of my phone and took couple of breaths in and out. Looks like mom sent me a message.
I tapped on the messenger app, with my finger and read her text, 'Sweetie have you taken your medication pills?" I motioned my fingers on the keyboard and replied with "Yes I did an hour ago". Next I pressed the sent button, she left it in read. Which I don't really mind. Come to think about it, didn't the psychiatrist said that the pills would help? I mean the dose was increased to 150 mg a week ago. Aside from that, it hasn't really help with improving my mood or even manage my thoughts. I let out a heavy sigh and quietly placed my phone next to me. Then scanned my surroundings in silence. "I'm not alone, mom's downstairs" I mumbled, trying to keep myself maintained and in control. I don't know what I would do without her, she's the only individual that I can depend on. She was always there whenever I needed her. Unlike the townspeople, they would say that I'm cursed because of my eyes and the impression that I leave on them. When really, I haven't been getting the amount of sleep that I needed. My mood however, utterly kills the atmosphere. Makes sense why people would often avoid me. I mean who would want to be around someone who is always in a crappy mood and has an asshole attitude? People make judgements anyways, so it's better not to get too attached to anyone.
I looked over to my bed and slowly shifted my way onto the mattress. Should I even try to sleep? No point of doing so, either way. Whether I sleep or not, I'm always being watched. I pulled my blanket over my head and hugged my knees again. I have school tomorrow, I might as well try to rest at least.
Hell, what the fuck does it even mean to have rest? There's no 'rest' when you're constantly in survival mode. Life won't give you what you want, that's the ugly truth that everyone forgets.
I slowly shut my eyes, hoping for a dream that won't disappoint me like any other. As I reached into the depths of my mind, I found myself in my room still. I carefully got off my bed and noticed how dark the hallways were. I felt my legs tremble and the sweat dripping from my fingers down to the palm of my hands. Breathe idiot, breathe.
I inhaled the air and released it gently. Then forced myself to walk out of my room. Suddenly I heard a distant CLANK! Coming from downstairs and decided to figure it out. "M-Mom..?" I said, carefully taking one step after another down the staircase. When I took my last step off the staircase, I noticed blood on the marble floor in the dining room. I can already feel the palpitation of my heartbeat and my skin getting all clammy, that I have to remind myself to not be afraid. Otherwise I would throw up and pass out again. Dammit it all feels too real. But it's all a dream isn't it? It's just a dream, calm down.
When I set a foot on the marble tile, I saw a silhouette in front of the stove. The figure turned her head to look at me with a big smile on her face. "Hello my dear.." she said faintly and opened her arms to me. "Care to hug your mother..?" She asked. I looked at her "Sorry, I'll leave you be." I answered and past by her naturally til' I reached to the front door of the house. I looked behind and saw her head twitching, making my insides churned. "Be safe at school alright?" She said, her voice echoed in my ears. I looked away from her in silence and twisted the door knob with my hand. Before I could take a step outside. I felt her hand on my shoulders, she stiffly tilted her head to my left ear and whispered "Be a good boy." I grabbed her hands gently off my shoulders and looked at her, expressionless. Next lowered my head to her and walked outside, Off to a great start. I mustn't show fear no matter what.
The outside is dark, not much of vibrant colours in plain sight. All from the range of each and every shade of black, nothing else. Melancholy much. Which is nothing too surprising. I walked on the road to school and had to make a couple of stops to turn around, just to see if I'm being followed. Instantaneously, a distant chuckle was heard ahead of me, a man with no face was gripping onto an axe. I paused to think until the sharp edge of the weapon slammed my right arm off. My eyes widened, chest pulsing in question. I held onto my left shoulder and felt the blood dripping on my fingers. My knees immediately fell onto the ground, as I watch him make his approach towards me. While laughing historically at my reaction to the pain. "Fucking bitch" I muttered, I held my tears back and slowly grabbed the handle of the axe, that chopped my arm off and got up. Heading to his direction, I swung the axe and sliced the man in half with my left arm. Then threw it on the ground just to run as fast as I can, without looking back.
At last I arrived at school, as usual no one seems to notice my existence. N'or even question the bleeding shoulder. Not like any of them have a face in here either. It's better that way, after all I severely lack communication and a sense of humour.
I paced my ways in the hallway of the school, looking for the infirmary room. Everything went dead silent, I can only hear the echoes of my footsteps. I felt a stare from someone behind. But when I turned around no one was there. Damn I'm gonna need a better therapist after all of this.
Oddly enough, I don't seem to be making much progress in these halls. The number and letters of each classroom look the same. How precarious is that? Without me looking, I slipped and stumbled onto the floor. I quickly shut my eyes and opened them again and notice people were surrounding me. Staring at me, not with anger. But with disappointment. The moment I lifted my head, water streams down my face. A girl with pretty brown curls and green eyes with wispy eyelashes, held onto a empty water bottle above me. She cackles with two of her friends that stood behind her. While I shriveled inside, as I hear woman's voice with accompanying whispers in my ears, "be a good boy". It was enough to keep myself restrained. So I remained silent, not giving any attention to them. I lowered my head and stared at the floor. At that moment I felt her heels dig into my back, pushing me down. I gritted my teeth and clenched my fists on the floor. "Awww are you gonna cry with those ugly eyes of yours? Does the baby need his mommy?" The girl with brown curls said, adding more strength onto her heels. "What's so scary about him anyways? He's just a loser who's extremely attached to his mother" the girl with long black hair commented, walking next to her. "And a nerd!!! Oh my god! I should totally post this to my followers" Her other friend with red highlights added, as she took several photos of me with her phone.
My eyes flinched and all of the sudden, the silence returned and I was in front of the infirmary room. I looked around me absolutely lost on what just happened. "W-What..?" I stuttered and I shook my head. Then slid the door of the infirmary room to the side with my hands and walked in. Ignoring that.. Any bandages here? Goddammit why is it so dark..
I let out a heavy sigh knowing that the light switch is broken, I reached my hand over to the top shelf and grabbed a bottle. I lowered by head to read the label, W-Wait a minute, aren't these the pills that my doctor prescribed me with?
I placed the capsule over the counter top and kneeled down. After that, I opened the cabinet to see the med kit and bandages. Next to it was dead corpse, the eyes took a glance at me. But I ignored it and grabbed what I needed. Then I carefully wrapped the bandages around my right shoulder and closed the cabinet. Finally, that should help with the bleeding for the meantime. Unfortunately, there's nowhere I can put the med kit... I stood up and left the infirmary room and hear a loud ass shooting outside the school. I immediately got down, hovered against the walls covering my ears with my hands. A loud voice shouts "KID GET THE FUCK OFF THE ROOFTOP OF THE BUILDING!!!"
I blinked and found myself at the edge of the building's rooftop. "WHAT IN THE FLYING FUCK AM I DOING UP HERE!?" I exclaimed and carefully sat down, looking at my surroundings trying to process shit. Crap, did I get into another episode.?
(To be continuedd -.)
