Tarragon (v1)

Chapter Six: Parasitae Vitris

-Net

"Net. How much haven't you told me?" Amnoia asked me.

"I- I just hadn't got to that, I would have-" I tried to reason with them.

"No! This is the kind of thing you tell someone! That you're in conflict with some insane cult! What did you even do?" Amnoia interrogated me, cornering me in the cave we were in.

"Please, I don't know what I did! I accidentally found that castle a while ago, and the King just randomly tried to kill me! I don't know what they want with me so badly that they would try to kill me!" I tried to reason with them.

"I get the feeling you're lying. Nobody wants someone dead that badly for no reason." Amnoia pestered me, "So tell me, what did you do?"

"I don't know! I guess... I did evade being killed by the King, but all of that sounds like something they were planning. The King knew me by the wrong name, but he still knew that name. He might... he might be related to Thorn, somehow, but... I don't know." I reasoned.

Amnoia sighed, "You really don't know, do you?" they asked.

"Nope. That's what I've been trying to tell you."

I explained everything I knew to them, as we walked back into our camp.

A half formed thought drifted into my mind, as I saw the little camp. I ignored it, as it was some random philosophical thought, like, nature isn't perfect, or something.

That's not going to be relevant again. Right?

We talked for a few minutes, before I got comfortable, and fell asleep.

My dreams were vague. I woke up, and had a pretty normal day.

Amnoia and I rerolled two different rooms for a few hours, but didn't really find anything useful.

We fell asleep.

We woke up.

We rerolled rooms for basically the whole day.

We fell asleep.

The routine kept going, but by the end of the week, I felt burnt out, and bored, and just sad.

It felt like I had been stuck in the same spot for years, even though I knew it had only been a few weeks.

I woke up to see Amnoia sitting next to the river.

"Whatcha doing?" I asked them, to no response.

I looked at their eyes, and they seemed deep in thought.

"It's our nature to fight what holds us down. What keeps us subservient, and holds us hostage." they muttered.

I saw a flash of light in their eyes, and after a moment, they seemed shocked.

"Net, I think-" they started, "I think I just got my Waking Communication." they told me.

I would be so happy for them if I didn't feel stupid. I felt behind, like now I had expectations to reach. I knew it was because I had always been the gifted one, the smart one, in everything except for magic, and it stung. It stung to be reminded of what Thorn had done to make me feel smart, to the point that when I couldn't accomplish something so difficult so quickly, I felt stupid.

"Congrats." I gave them a lethargic, sarcastic congrats.

"Net? Really?" they asked, "I thought you'd be more excited."

"Oh, I am, I'm just..." I tried to come up with a lie, "tired."

"Oh, well, go back to sleep if you feel tired, then." they suggested.

"Sure."

I cried myself to sleep, and woke up a few hours later.

I felt a bit better, but a bit bitter about the whole thing.

I tried to avoid talking to them, and just sat next to the river.

I repeated what they said, seeing if that would work, "It's in our nature to fight what holds us down. What keeps us subservient, and holds us hostage."

Nothing happened.

"Ahem. It's in our nature to fight what holds us down. What keeps us subservient, and holds us hostage." I repeated, a bit more annoyed this time.

I thought of Thorn, and her whole empire. I thought of the SDZ, which was holding me hostage, and repeated it again, to no avail, "COME ON! JUST WORK!" I shouted, slamming a claw against the ground.

I stuck a talon in the river, watching the little wake it made in the water. I smiled, and tried repeating it again.

It soured my renewed mood, and I looked at the water.

"It's in our nature..." I started, thinking that if I said it slowly, I would be able to get it,
"To fight what holds us down..." I continued, "What keeps us subservient, and holds us hostage."

Frustration boiled over, and I dug my claws into the rock on the side of the river. It hurt, but I still did. I had to get my anger out somehow, and I didn't have any effigies of Thorn in this cave I could rip to shreds.

I had completely lost the motivation to try with it anymore.

"Net? Are you okay?" I heard Amnoia ask, sounding concerned.

"No! I'm not! I just watched you get your Waking Communication, and I feel like I've done nothing! I feel like a failure! I feel like I've just been wasting my time in these caves, wasting away while you get so far!" I shouted, "I feel like an idiot!"

Amnoia tilted their head, "I've been formulating that for months. You've been here a third of the time I've been here, you can't expect to be getting it so soon. You'll get yours soon, don't worry-"

I interrupted them, "But I always get things quickly, I've been the smart one, I've been the one who understands things quickly, and now, I just feel- I feel like a failure for not getting that so soon."

"This isn't a matter of intelligence, you just haven't seen what really sparks it, yet. I got lucky, I started figuring it out pretty quickly, but I've heard of the smartest scholars in the world spending decades trying to find their revelation, and failing in the end." They tried to reason with me.

I looked at my reflection in the water. I wiped off the little bit of dirt which was under my eye. It left behind a little smear of mud.

I saw a small, discolored scar on my chin. I knew where it had come from. I had made Thorn mad, by asking too many questions.

It was one of a number of imperfections she had given me.

Nature isn't perfect. It's our nature to fight against our oppressors, but...

I flinched, at my train of thought, and that's not an exaggeration either. I saw parts of Amnoia's revelation, but the thought was incomplete.

"I think I just got lucky. I don't have it yet, but... I don't think it will be very long before I get my revelation."

Amnoia smiled, "I swear, if you get your revelation in three months, when it took me so much longer to get mine, I'm going to lose it.'' They jokingly threatened me.

-Parasite Guide: Parasitae Vitris