(edited)
Darkness...
Endless darkness...
That's what Wei Wuxian sees now.
He doesn't know how much time has passed since he was trapped there in that dark place. He doesn't know where he is. The only thing that is keeping him sane in the dark is the voice of his soulmate.
The voice that he was most familiar with.
His Lan Zhan...
His Lan Wangji...
His Zhiji...
The voice of his soulmate being the only light guiding him in that maddening darkness.
He doesn't know how, but he can hear him. Maybe not everything, but those little bits were enough for him not to lose his mind in a frenzy.
He can hear the strumming of the guqin strings. Playing inquiry for him every day. Asking the spirits for his whereabouts. He can hear the unknown melody played on the guqin every night.
He can hear his zhiji wailing, asking and begging him to come back. He can hear him questioning why the world is so cruel to them.
Above all, he heard something more that made his heart thunder. Never in his life did he imagine that Lan Wangji would confess his love to him. He never thought he could be loved and admired by someone so selflessly other than his shijie.
His heart felt heavy for causing such immense pain to the person who loved him. He wanted to apologize to Lan Wangji and say that he loves him as well. That he would never want to part ways with him again. How unfortunate, that his voice cannot be heard by his soulmate. If only he could get a chance to be together with the only person he admired and loved with all his heart. How he wished to get just one more chance. Is that even possible? How pitiful it is! When he was alive, he didn't realize his love. Now even if he realized it, it was too late. Too late to go back.
He could feel Lan Wangji's heart bleeding for him like it was his own. The excruciating pain and agony of being so helpless. What can they do except to grieve for their love that was dying little by little every day?
The guilt of not being able to do anything hung heavily in Wei Wuxian's heart. Not only because of Lan Wangji. He is also guilty of all the deaths that were caused by him, painting his hands red with the blood of people he cared for and considered family. Is this his punishment for getting confined to an unknown place, wallowing in guilt, and loathing himself? How pathetic!
If he had realized his feelings for Lan Wangji sooner, would the situation be any different? Maybe it would've been. He regrets giving up his life leaving Lan Wangji alone in a cruel world like that. If only he trusted Lan Wangji. It would have been different, right? He was so blinded by the resentment, his own insecurities and his overwhelming thoughts that he didn't even understand whom to trust anymore and solely concentrated on protecting the people he thought were his own. He disregarded everyone but who knew the arrogance was just a facade covering his vulnerabilities.
He missed the days when they were carefree and enjoying life just like the teenagers of their age. He missed the times he spent with Lan Wangji. He missed the time when Jiang Cheng and him used to go swimming, picking lotus pods and playing around. He missed annoying Lan Wangji.
'Lan Zhan, I am sorry.
I miss you.
I regret pushing you away when you wanted to help me. I was blinded by the resentment inside of me.'
YOU ARE READING
Mo Dao Zu Shi(Wei Ying's POV)
Fiksi Penggemar(Slow Updates) The grandmaster of demonic cultivation in Wei Ying's POV. This book will be based on the original novel and live-action drama along with a few scenes I added.
