C!Joy stories

10 months outside of Kara

"What're you doing back here so soon? I thought you'd at least last a month with your delusions." Joel chuckled, not even bothering looking up from his food. If he had bothered, he would've been able to see my red stained eyes, tired looking from the amount of tears I left behind like a trail on my way back.

"Shut up Joel. It was very much real, but it wasn't for me." I snapped at him, continuing to walk to not give him any satisfaction by giving him my time of day. It wasn't until he spoke again that I stopped.

"Right. Your sister, a queen. She's just a piece of homeless dirt like the rest of-" He couldn't finish his sentence before he got a fist in his face, my eyes watering once more. "I said shut up! She is the queen of Kamaria! You just wished you were like her! Instead you scavenge food and sit on your lazy ass all day!" I spit at him, having enough of his stupid jokes for today. I didn't bother waiting for a reply before walking away.

Truth is, it was for me. Joy and Aries, together again. That was the goal. I thought she wouldn't send me that letter, until she did. She left to find a better place for us to live, and she kept that promise, even if it took her over 10 years. I was just 6 years old when she said her goodbye, but she never forgot about me, nor did I forget about her.

I don't know why I left Kara. The trip back lasted about a week, and still I have no answer. I just did. Maybe I was scared that she'd leave me again. Maybe it was in fact a delusion. All I know is that suddenly, I was on a boat back to the town I used to spend most of my time in. I would travel around, but I would always go back here, in case Aries sent me that letter.

I wanted to scream, yell at myself, punch myself, I wanted to... I wanted to turn back time. Not be so foolish as to leave behind the only person I truly cared about. I wanted a hug... to be comforted.

I sat down in an alleyway, bringing my knees close to my chest in an attempt to imagine Aries' hugs. The hugs that I missed and cherished so deeply. The hugs I had finally gotten back, even for just a brief moment in time. And the hugs I had given up to return to my old life. The life that I had been wanting to escape for the 12 years after she left. "Idiot." I sighed, mumbling the words under my breath.

I left that town, only to return to it one last time in the future. I traveled around, getting to know people that would talk about science and how it would change the world.

I gained some knowledge from fellow travelers that had gone to Kara after I left. When I asked them about Kamaria, they had no idea what I was talking about. Even talking about the Lunar Queen didn't ring any bells for them. The only thing that kept me from thinking I had all imagined it, was that they did know Lunanora. However, they couldn't recall seeing her beautiful church like I did.

I kept traveling, trying to gain information about Kamaria without having to go there myself to keep me from going insane. It was only when a female traveler told me: "Kamaria? Oh dear, that fell quite a bit ago. Something about the Lunar Queen stepping down and leaving Kamaria in the middle of the night. It all went downhill from there."

It was gone... but I didn't imagine it. I wondered what happened for a long time after that, but I was able to find peace. Suddenly, all my anger was gone. The traveler had given me closure I didn't know I needed. She had ensured I knew that Kamaria was real, even if it was gone now.

I stopped looking for answers after that, and started helping people instead. Help them get food or medicine before traveling to the next town and doing it all over again there. Even after 6 months I still wasn't able to finish even 20% of Felana.

It brought me happiness, helping these people. Seeing them smile and bring a bit of Joy in their day. People told me my name fitted me. The first time someone mentioned it, it was a little boy. Sasha was his name. He couldn't have been older than 8. He was frail and obviously malnourished, a bit like me. He reminded me of myself when I was his age, still learning how to survive without Aries by my side. I couldn't leave him there with just an extra meal, like I did with most others. I knew what it was like to be in his situation, I wanted to do more for him then just that. It took me 3 weeks - the longest I had stayed in one town - but I found him a home. A married couple that wasn't able to have kids. They were looking for an orphanage in a different town by buying every newspaper they could get their hands on. I observed them for about 5 days, before approaching them. I told them about Sasha's situation, which seemed to captivate their hearts without missing a beat. After a few days of them thinking about it, I introduced the couple to him. Sasha had found his family.

Before he went home with them, he hugged me, telling me that my name was the same as my personality and what I gave him.

I cried that night.

I helped 24 other children find families after that. Every kid looking like a younger version of me, and every parent or guardian reminding me of Aries.

It was with the last kids that I decided to go back to my hometown. Morgan and Isabella. Twins that became homeless at the age of 9 after their parents became deadly ill. They were adorable and it wasn't hard for me to get them a family. They were already 14 and quite independent, so it wasn't hard for them to win over a woman's heart whose child had died due to the same illness as the twins' parents. Before me and the new found family went their own way, Morgan grabbed me by the arm; "I hope you find a family as well some day. Your Joy, so you deserve the happiness your name represents."

That was the night I left Felana, going back to the town I grew up in. It was Joel who approached me the moment he saw me. I would've been mad at him, if it wasn't for my new found goal to make people smile. "Hey there, Joel. How have you been?" I asked him kindly. He raised his eyebrows at me, confused at my personality shift. "Are you high?" Was the first words he spoke to me after 10 months. It made me laugh, which only confused him more. "We'll unpack that later. Here, this arrived a few months after you left. It's for you." He handed me a letter, with the handwriting that I recognized instantly. "Aries." I said to myself, before taking the letter, my hands shaking a bit. "Guess you were right, carrot." I glanced at him as he called me by that nickname, referring to my hair. Something he has done for as long as I can remember. I couldn't get a word out before he continued; "I tried to keep the letter safe from the rain and such in case you came back. That was a pain to do, so you better read it." He urged me as he pointed towards the letter. I nodded before opening the envelope, which Joel had obviously done already.

I couldn't finish the letter. I read the first half of it, which contained Aries asking me to come back. "Looks like she misses you kid." Joel interrupted to which I nodded as my reply.

I stood there, for a total of 13 seconds. Not moving, not breathing, not replying. It was Joel that got me out of that trance. "Go." Was all he said. And so I did. I ran out of that town without saying another word, and all the way to the first of many boats I was going to take. Towards the waters that would guide me to Kara. The letter was old but I didn't care. It would be different this time.

This time, I would stay.

This time, I was ready.