AN Happily cowritten by Silver_veins
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"Calvin Harris?", said Calvin Harris.
"No, we can't pull over for you to go to the bathroom, don't be disgusting", Taylor groaned.
The three of them - Karlie, Taylor, and Calvin - were nearly at their destination. Taylor seemingly knew exactly where Lorde was at this very moment and they were hot on her trail (or so Taylor assumed).
"It just seems like we're going in circles", Karlie said, leaning back on the skateboard in a bored fashion.
(Or should I say, BOARD fashion!!!!!!!)
AN The author would like to briefly apologise for the pun seen above.
Anyways, they were casually driving along the busy road that was Somewhere In New York and Calvin was getting bitchy.
"Calvin Harris!", he groaned.
"We can find a bathroom when we get to the place, Calvin!", Taylor yelled. She had dressed herself in her unicorn onesie once more and was angrily driving everyone to Lorde's place of lurking. On the skateboard which now had a steering wheel.
"Ugh! Calvin Haaarriiis", moaned Calvin Harris.
"I told you we'd be there in about ten minutes!", Taylor said. "If this god damn traffic would move any faster!"
Karlie looked around. "Taylor, we are in a parking lot"
"Oh", said Taylor.
After driving out of the parking lot they sped through the streets and found a very classy looking hotel. Taylor smirked a smirk so smirky it made everyone else's smirky smirk seem smirk-less.
"Let's go!", she said and used her unicorn wings to fly to an open window on the fifth floor.
"Since when did the onesie have wings?", Karlie asked as she watched Taylor fly away like she was watching some sort of music video ft. Katy Perry and Nicki Minaj.
"Calvin Harris", Calvin said with a shrug.
"Oi oi!", came a voice from the hotel entrance. It was Zayn! Or Zayne, or however you actually spell it.
"What are you doing here?", Karlie gasped in disbelief.
"Calvin Harris!", exclaimed Calvin Harris.
"I fink yous two are s'possed ta be in the old 'otel righ' be'ind me righ' 'ere, so you is", said Zayn.
"........", said Calvin Harris.
"Oh. Okay", said Karlie who had no idea what Zayn just said. But she and Calvin Harris walked into the hotel anyway.
Taylor had gracefully flown to the fifth floor and so that was the number Karlie pressed on the elevator control pad. Other people were in the elevator too - Harry from One Direction and three girls to be exact. Three girls with hair that came down to their fucking ankles.
"You here for the ambush?", asked the blonde one holding a large baseball bat.
"Yup", said Karlie with a shrug.
"I'm so cool", said a darker haired one, moping around in one corner of the elevator. She was holding a tennis racket.
"Pretty exciting", said the smallest, who couldn't seem to stop smiling. And her intense cuteness unsettled Karlie. So she shot her in the face.
"WHAT?"
I said so she shot her.
"NO! That's SO unlike me!"
Karlie I'm getting really annoyed at your fourth wall breaking. Like, this is the second time.
"I don't SHOOT people because they can't control their facial expressions, okay? Rewind, like, 49 words"
Okay, Karlie did not shoot the smallest of the three girls in the face. But she was still unsettled by her adorableness, and so she prayed that the strangely time consuming elevator ride would go by faster.
"We're in a band", said the blonde girl.
"Calvin Harris?", asked Calvin Harris, who hadn't said anything in a while and was now intrigued.
"Yeah, it's so fun", said the one who couldn't stop being so god damn cute.
"It's all right", said the cool one in the corner.
"I'm in a band", said Harry.
"Great", said Karlie.
"I'm Lady Gaga", said Lady Gaga, who appeared all of a sudden.
"Oh, hello", greeted Karlie. She glanced over at the elevator control pad. They were only on level two. She sighed.
"It's okay to love yourself. We so often forget that happiness is the key to living a healthy life", said Lady Gaga.
"No one asked for that, but thank you", Karlie said.
"Felt good", smiled the sweet faced little shit.
"Calvin Harris", agreed Calvin Harris.
"Sometimes life just wants to punch you in the genitals but then you just need to punch life back", said Lady Gaga.
"Calvin Harris?"
"Yes, in the genitals"
"Thanks... again", said Karlie. Level three now.
"I'm the lead singer in the band", said Harry.
"You guys wanna hear a vagina joke", said the blonde one.
"That's immature", said the cool one.
"My face really hurts", beamed the smallest.
"If ever you feel that a person is talking shit about you, you need to travel down a long road, look back at the world behind you, and know that they are a major dick head. And that you need to break up with your stupid boyfriend. And that you're fucking amazing. And a superstar"
If Lady Gaga didn't stop giving out random (but very helpful) life quotes, and if Harry didn't shut up about his band, and if the girl in the corner didn't stop bragging about how cool everything was, and if the blonde one didn't stop telling vagina jokes, and if the smiley one didn't stop being so motherfucking adorable, KARLIE WAS GOING TO-
"I'm Marina and I have diamonds", said Marina who appeared all of a sudden.
"Level Five, bitches", said the elevator speaker.
"Mother of God's mother", Karlie groaned as she jumped out the second the elevator doors opened.
She grabbed Calvin Harris's arm and dragged him through the halls until they found a large ballroom. This had to be it.
The battle was finally ahead of them.
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AN I know absolutely nothing about Haim. So their traits were based off of one single interview that I watched. As for Marina she was a really random add-in suggested by Silver_Veins. Lady Gaga is a fucking queen. And as for Harry Styles, well he's just there to be annoying. I really don't know how this fic is going to end. I never have a plan when I write this, it's just write what comes to mind ~R
