Haru Haru

two truths ~ Part 9

We made our way into Justin's room and trying to stay out of the way like earlier I sat on the futon.

"Alright, I am going to go take a shower I probably smell horrible right now. I don't know how you rode in a car with me all the way here." He says chuckling out the ending.

"Ok, I will go ahead and leave then." I say standing up, gripping the strap from my bag in my hand. Mentally preparing for that dark walk back to the house.

"I didn't say that meaning you had to leave Jale, I just didn't want to disappear for a few minutes without saying anything. You can stay and we can actually watch something when I am done."

"Oh, umm, ok then." 

"Just give me literally like 8 minutes, I will be right back." He says while picking up clothes out of a dark wood dresser on the wall to my left.

"Ok" Is all I know to say in response.

I remain on the futon positioned in the corner. I look around the room that I am back in for the second time today. I rarely feel comfortable in a new space, and even rarer comfortable in a space that is a males. But for some reason in this space I am not overwhelmed by the same feelings or thoughts that have plagued my mind in the past at the mere thought of coming into a space like this. 

With the dark now creeping in around the edges of the gray curtains covering his windows you would think that it would make it all more eerie. But it wasn't, it made it feel secure maybe even safe, if that was a feeling I even remembered now. He had only a lamp on in the corner next to his desk and the glow from the TV playing a re-run of some show I haven't watched. A few loose papers spread across his desk next to a chemistry book showing he actually used it and the blanket still draped off the corner of his bed kept his essence in here without him actually being here. It kept me from feeling completely alone.

"Alright, what should we watch? Do you have a preference?" He asked walking back into the room. His hands with a towel on his head still drying his hair. That wasn't the issue though. His chest was completely bare, only a pair of dark sweatpants sat on his hips. Tanned skin covered his lightly muscled torso.

"Uhmm..uh. I don't know" Is all I managed to get out. He kept walking towards me his face covered by the towel still, not seeing the shocked and terrified expression that I am sure is on my face.

"Alright I think I saw that they had just put that Glass Onion movie on there if you want to watch that." He says dropping onto the seat so close to me that his arm and bare side are against me as he sits down.

 Without being able to stop myself I recoil away from him and start trying to move farther away from him but finding my back against the arm of the futon. My breathing is speeding up and I can tell I am not going to be able to stop the panic from progressing. Justin sees me move away from him the towel now resting in his hands at his lap.

"Jale what's wrong are you ok? What happened?" He askes in a rush turning towards me. Unfortunately that didn't help anything except amplify the stress already coursing through me. Again I try to put more space between us, not succeeding my back meeting the wall behind me. 

Panic pulses through me so much I can feel it in my fingertips as I freeze realizing there is no space to escape to. He makes another move towards me but stops when he hears my breath catch in my throat.

"Hey its ok, try and breath for me Jale." He says in a calm voice backing away from me but remaining on the futon.

My heart pounds, but with him putting a bit of space between us I can at least go back to the rushed breaths I am managing to get into my lungs. My eyes are darting around the room still searching desperately for an escape, a form of defense, anything at this point. Flashes of the past are pouring through my head and past my eyes. I cant focus on anything.