The broken glass behind the door

part one

have you ever been in love? Well I have or so i thought, I've never loved like I loved before he came along. Everyone before him was just an extra body. I was in lust, I never really wanted them. I wanted to feel something. I wanted to show everyone how good I was. It was the only thing I was good at. I've never been good at anything, at least that's what my parents told me. Especially my drunken father. he always told me id never be good at anything. And my mother just wanted to go along with him because she didn't want to be abused. So, for her stake they verbally and mentally abused me. In result of this everything in my life that I've ever done was to stick it to the two adults who "raised me". It all changed when he came along. He told me I can be whatever I wanted to be. He told me I can be amazing at everything I do no matter what it was. When I was a little girl, I always believed I could be a doctor or a lawyer or even take it as far as a brain surgeon! But my parents always shut me out, not a glimpse of support. I've always known how to be alone. It was just in my blood and who knew that would be how I met my temporary soulmate. It all started when one day when I was 18 years old. I was going out with my best friend from high school sophomore year. I would've never thought we'd be friends until graduation. We were total opposites. In some way we were exactly the same, its hard to explain. We were going to this new club in LA we had went for a girl's trip. So of course, we had fake ids we were also very pretty and curvy girls, so we got in easily. Before we got in, we were waiting in the line to get into the blub and this one guy caught my eye. He was a tall darkskin guy. Sexy chocolate skin long dreads in a man bun. An even better body a six pack muscular arms, the full package. He saw me looking at him, I turned so fast I didn't want to be caught being thirsty, men are supposed to be thirsty over me, the one thing I'll always remember from my unstable mother. We get into the club, and I notice he's dancing with a different girl, and I was jealous. He's basically mine I knew he wanted me, and I wanted him. I pull my best friend and flash her a smirk. She downs her shot from the bartender, her 3rd shot of the night. We make our way to the dancefloor and grind on each other to this odd and sexual song playing. It was a perfect set up to entice this man. We continue dancing and gliding our hips together. If we kept this up, I would've had to take her out of the club myself if no other guy did. Anyway, the guy I was trying to entice was watching us for more than ten minutes and he was biting his lip and smirking at us. That's when I knew I had him and the rest of the club wrapped around my ring finger. Just then I figured out a way to get free shots. I hold my best friend by her hand, and we walk up to the guy "hey I seen you looking at us." "Well, who wouldn't, I mean look at you." His eyes trace my body up and down. I loved the attention I was getting. "Maybe you can look at me some more if you get us drinks." My best friend knew exactly what I was doing, and she didn't object as long as she didn't have to do anything with the guy. She just smirked at me. "Ok bet lil ma, what do you want to drink?" I didn't know what I wanted to drink but I did know what I wanted to taste. "I'll just have two shots of tequila, and the pretty lady, will have the same". "Oh, so y'all drink drink?" "Just a little" I flash a little smirk trying to conceal my desperate need and want for this man. Fast forward we got our drinks and were dancing, my best friend has already found some other guy to dance with by now. I'm dancing with this mystery man he's holding me close and tight. I loved the feeling of his strong hands on my hips, they looked almost perfect on the dip of my waist. He moved his hand up slowly and back down slowly. Sending chills down my back, I've never felt this kind of slow intimacy from a man and I've felt a lot of feelings and things, but never this. He bows his head down and whispers in my ear. "do you want another drink lil ma?" I nod at him already drunk, but I cant deny anything he says. Its like his eyes have me hypnotized, I get lost in his gaze I cant even respond in words. He moves his hands from my hips and holds my hand and we slowly walk over to the bar through the crowd of people. Its so loud I couldn't hear mystery man ordering my drink. I wonder how he knows what I want, because little does he know I don't even like strong liquor I only did it to seem cool. I start to wonder where my girl is. I look around and see her twerking on some white guy, I shake my head in disappointment. "this girl." "hmm little mama what did you say" I shake my head in nothingness, and he hands me my drink. "here ma just for you." Now I should've found this weird but he was so fine and I was already drunk so I trusted him. I downed the shot, it burned as usual but this one burned more than usual. I looked at him with narrow eyes. "I can trust you right?" and he nodded his head in reassurance, so how could I not trust him I was just overthinking. He wouldn't do anything to me right?