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chapter 1: middle school.

I wake up at a early time. I sit in my bed, after laying and scrolling on my phone all night. I am now sat upright. I look ahead of me. My room shining from the morning sunshine. The sky looks beautiful today. Then there's me, my hazel brown hair that shines bright with the sunlight. My yellow pale face. My dry lips. And my green eyes, a red color around my eyes. I'm tired, but I have to get this day over with. I've given up on life.

I stand, feeling dizzy. I walk over towards my dresser, I grab a pill and take it. I walk and grab my bag. And walk out my room, as the aroma of bacon hits me immediately. All that's in my head is: I can't eat. It's true. I hate eating. I feel sick from the smell. A slight headache that'll turn bigger later on hits me. I walk down. My mom speaks. "come on, let's eat. I made bacon." In her sweet voice. But I don't care, "I'm not hungry." I say as I leave the house. Walking to the school...

I look up at the sky. My best friend made it beautiful today. For context: I killed her. I had so much anger. It all got to me, I don't know why I did it. I hope she forgives me. I walk in the school. People saying "oh look, it's the pathetic little girl." And more saying im ugly. I walk in my first class... next thing I know second class..then third..fourth..fifth...finally the last: sixth. It's my first day back, as it is for everyone. Finally it's the end of the day. I get called to the office.. they ask if I'm fine.. and more.. next thing I know.. I'm getting asking if I've ever harmed myself. I say no, but they ask for me to show my arms. I was caught in a lie. I show them. They explain they will have my mom take me to a mental hospital.. but I can't.. I can't go. I tell them don't tell her, she's busy right now. And more. I also tell them, that it's just scratches from a car incident. They believe it. I get home after a few minutes.. I walk in my room. And then the bathroom. I look at myself in my mirror.. my pale, ugly face.