If I Stay - Niall Fic

Part 3

Present Time

I don't know how long I've been standing over the body. My body. Time seems to work in a strange way like this. Not that it's anywhere close to being as strange as this whole situation is. I'm not even sure how I ended up at the hospital. One minute I was watching the wailing ambulance disappear into the darkness, and the next I was standing in the Emergency Room, watching as the doctors tried to salvage my body.

The monitor to the right of the bed shows zigzagged lines as it quietly hums throughout the otherwise silent room. Ever since the accident years ago, I've never liked hospitals and I've always done everything in my power to avoid them. If I had a cold, I'd fix it with NyQuil. If I had a sore throat, I'd eat throat drops until my tongue was raw. Thankfully I've never had anything too bad that would call for a trip to the doctors office. But being here now makes all of the bad memories come rushing back uncontrollably. The way the lights shine a bit too bright, the nauseating smell of the cafeteria, the heart wrenching looks on the faces of those who have just received the worst news possible. I can't imagine why anyone would ever enjoy being here, let alone spending their lives working here.

I look cold and inert underneath the pale white sheets. I'm still trying to figure out how I could possibly be standing here staring at my comatose body across from me.

After some time has passed, two doctors with clipboards are walking in and they begin to expect my body thoroughly. Once they're done scribbling things onto their papers, the short doctor with the glasses shakes his head and sighs.

"It's a wonder she made it out of that alive. I haven't seen something so bad in a long, long time." There's a look of cloudiness on his face, and I can tell that he's genuinely concerned about me. It would be quite heart warming if it weren't for the fact that I'm barely clinging to life in front of his eyes.

A few minutes of humming and hawing later, they exit the room whilst talking about more medical things that I don't understand. And I come to the decision that that's probably a good thing.

I take a seat on the stiff chair next to the bed, not that my legs are tired or anything. To be honest I don't really feel anything, just...emptiness. Maybe this really is an "out of body experience." Maybe this happens all the time. I don't know.

I hear the door creak open again and I look up to see a young looking nurse walk in. As she gets closer, I notice that she's got a very kind face and for some reason I immediately trust her. She checks my IVs and then pushes some strands of hair away so they're out of my beat up face. I watch as she grabs my right hand and holds it gently in both of hers. She sighs and then gives me a warm smile.

"Hi, beautiful." Her voice is quiet but soothing; like she's talking to a sleeping child. Which is ironic enough in itself.

Then something in her eyes suddenly change. The calmness that she had before is now a look of worry as she leans slightly closer to my body.

"I know you can hear me right now. So please, please listen to what I'm about to say, no matter how crazy I may sound," she takes a deep breath and continues, "all of this is in your control. You have the choice to either stay or to let go. There's nothing that the doctors or I can do to change that...it's all up to you now." And with that, she gives my limp hand a small squeeze and walks out.

My choice? As if this is some sort of multiple choice test where I can just pick one and move on. It isn't that easy for me. Maybe this whole thing happened for a reason. Maybe I don't have anything worth living for anymore.

13 Months Ago

"So then I told him that I was definitely not interested and that the next time he tried to show me his rinky dink tic-tac, I'd shove my high heel straight up his ass."