𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬 [𝐣𝐣 𝐦𝐚𝐲𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐤]

𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚 𝐛𝐥𝐮𝐧𝐭

Being upset and still having to be around people was the one thing I managed to get good at over the years. John B and JJ always found ways to piss me off no matter what we were doing, so I had to learn to just grin and bear it because I would never live it down if I were to just go home and 'tattle'. Which is the one thing I wanted to do in this situation. I wanted to go home and tell Dylan everything that I knew about what was going on between Kiara and JJ. But it would do absolutely nothing for me. Dylan would feed me some guy logic and I would get even more upset. He never sat and fed into what I was saying, he just gave me the most sane person advice and moved on with his life.

I sat on the chateau's porch as the sun disappeared into the horizon as the moon and stars took over. JJ was occupying himself with something inside in an attempt to avoid me and not bring up anything I had said earlier. Kiara had left almost an hour ago and we hadn't said anything to each other since. She apologized before she left, never wanting to cause any problems between us. I accepted it because I'm not a total asshole, but I'm still a little upset about JJ not telling me. Feelings you can't help, no matter who they end up being for. But telling the person you supposedly love about something like that? You definitely can help that.

I stood up from the couch, tired of the silence and really just wanting to be home. If we weren't going to speak to each other, I wasn't going to be there. "I'm going home." I called out to him as I slipped my Vans back on. I saw his head whip toward me through the window.

"Wh- okay." I rolled my eyes as I stepped out of the porch, allowing the door to slam behind me as it closed. There was a bit of quiet, then a little commotion as I made it to the front of the house JJ was running up behind me. I felt his hand clasp around my wrist and I let out a sigh, "Laney."

I didn't turn to face him right away. I took in the trees and the little bit of gravel that still existed in the old driveway, remembering the day we spent 15 minutes picking the smallest rocks out of John B's knee because JJ had him on a sled tied to the back of the minibike and the sled ended up hitting a bigger rock which sent John B flying off and across the driveway. I giggled at the memory, a smile lingering on my face when I turned back to him. "JJ."

"Please don't leave out of here angry-"

"I'm not angry, JJ. I'm upset that you had the perfect chance to tell me everything and still didn't tell me that something almost happened with Kiara on the way home!"

"Almost, Laney. Almost. Nothing actually happened." I hated that. I hated that, to him, something would've had to physically happen for him to think it holds any relevance.

I looked over his face for any kind of something. His eyes darted all over the place, remaining on my face for a few seconds. "What stopped you?" He let out a breath. I absolutely hated arguing with him, he never deserved to be yelled at but I was so upset.

He shook his head before a quiet, "Pope" left his lips.

I took a step back from him, my breathing increasing the slightest bit as I felt a little pain in my chest. All that had stopped them from doing something that would hurt me was Pope. Not even the thought of how I would feel when I found out. I took a deep breath as I refrained from lashing out completely. Instead, I said, "This is exactly why we shouldn't make anything out of this."

He looked at me, surprised I had just said that to him when only mere hours ago we were all cuddly and happy together. "Are you serious?" I was just as hurt by my words as he was.

"It complicates things."

I could see as he went through all the emotions, ultimately landing on anger. It was the only one we all knew how to do really well. "You don't want to do this? Then fine! We won't." I let him have his moment. Let him feel what I was feeling. The conversation was becoming too much to even want to continue. We weren't even together but it felt like we were breaking up and I couldn't handle that, at all. I had spent weeks worrying about if they were okay, if he was okay. Only for him to come back and act like a completely different human being. What had changed in the last couple hours and why all of a sudden did it matter how Kiara felt in a situation where it was just supposed to be me and JJ?

I shared one last look at him before turning to continue to my car. I could hear as he threw things across the yard, but I didn't look back. How could I? I'd break and then our whole conversation would've been for nothing. I'd tell him how everything was okay, that I loved him when nothing about this was okay.

I was home in a matter of seconds once I was in my car. The moon had made her appearance, and I was ready to accept the nighttime sky with open arms and a blunt. Cancer perk. My dad got medical marijuana that he didn't smoke, so he passed it on over to me. Say it's bad parenting all you want, but he's never been as cool with me smoking weed as he has been in the last 2 weeks.

"Laney Lou." He said as I poked my head in the living room. "Is everything okay?" His smile turned into a look of concern as he looked over my rather puffy eyes. I cried on the short ride home and thought it wasn't too much to notice. Clearly, I was wrong.

"Yeah. Just school stuff. I'm gonna be in the backyard if you need me." I dismissed myself before he could say what he originally was going to. I walked to my room to put my bag down, only to find Miles on my bed on his phone. "What are you doing here?" I was shocked to say the least. He didn't tell me he was coming here for the weekend.

"Spur of the moment decision." He looked over me the same way my father just did, "And it's looking to be a good one."

I rummaged through my desk drawer for the wrap to take the conversation outside. Once a lighter was in hand, he was following me into the dimly lit backyard. I laid out two blankets on the grass and ushered him to sit next to me. Nothing was said as I lit the blunt and inhaled. He didn't push, which is the one thing I absolutely loved about him. Miles never made me feel like I had to say anything. We could sit in comfortable silence the whole time we were together and neither of us would mind.

But I was the one who started the conversation, "JJ and I got into a fight." He inhaled and raised a brow in my direction, "Something almost happened between him and Kiara and he didn't tell me about it. He said the only thing that stopped something from physically happening was Pope. Not me or his feelings for me, but Pope."

"Props to Pope." Miles said looking for me to laugh but I had nothing to laugh about. He shrugged, "Look, the way I see it is nothing happened so you can't really be mad at him for not telling you. Realistically, there was nothing to tell." I rolled my eyes. There was the basic boy logic. No room to gossip or feed into my delusions like I half-expected. "Did I not say the right thing?" I playfully shook my head no.

"I appreciate it all the same."

"Good because I think what I said makes the most sense to be honest."

"Of course you do." We sat quietly for a little while. Just us, the water against the bulkhead, and a blunt.

"So, why are you really here?" I finally asked him. He looked at me with his signature goofy smirk.

"Well, I'm supposed to be with Liam." He jokingly rolled his eyes, "But I knew I needed to see you while I was here because you'd probably murder me if you found out I was here and didn't stop by."

I shrugged, "Probably... why are you supposed to be with Liam?" He gave me a 'be for real' look and it finally clicked in my brain. "OMG! He called you because of me?" I giggled, "That's not funny but OMG it is funny."

"You're terrible, Foster." He nudged me.

I laid my head on his shoulder as I said, "You love me anyway, Cameron."

Pretty soon the blunt was gone and so were we. He decided to crash on my floor like he had done so many nights before and I went to bed knowing I needed to talk to JJ about everything when there was finally a chance.