-- "I can't stand to think about a heart so big it hurts like hell. Oh my God, I gave my best, but for three whole years to end like this." --
I was never a happy child.
Looking back on my life, I've come to realize just how unfortunate of a situation I was placed into by fate- between my sorry excuses for parents and my inability to find peace with my own mind, I've always been somewhat of a drifter, afraid to commit to anything of value for fear that it may one day discover the true ugliness rooted within my soul, and leave me behind.
Maybe that's why loving Nate terrified me so, even to the point where losing him was more comforting than staying with him.
But my story with Nate is one that cannot be summarized in just a few words, or sentences, or song lyrics. At least, I like to think that we were more unique than that. Though, admittedly, I've started to wonder lately if he feels the same way, as clearly he has become comfortable with trying to capture every wish and dream our souls once envisioned within a clean-cut melody and melancholic lyrics. I, for one, would like to think that it is not so possible to describe the emotions of the stars in such a fashion.
Then again, Nate never did view us to be as grand as stars, or swans, or even songs. To him, we will always simply be Nate and Becca, nothing more or less profound than our own identities, and the fact that even two spirits as plain and unoriginal as ours were unable to make love last is something that clearly taunts at him even to this day.
That's where Nate and I always did differ; while he was busy being grounded, I always kept my feet above the clouds. Maybe before he could even notice it, I had already floated away.
Nonetheless, here is our story, from my perspective, along with any explanations that I can possibly offer as to why a girl as sad as me was unwilling to let a boy as hopeful as him bless me with happiness.
YOU ARE READING
before dogs had problems
FanfictionMost people know that Nate Ruess wrote the album "Dog Problems" based off of his longtime relationship with a girl named Becca. Here is Becca's perspective of their relationship and their breakup, and why they just couldn't seem to make it work.
