A.N.: This writing piece was done in my english class. A great guest speaker came by, Harold Hoefle, to talk about his non-fiction piece "Waiting for My Father" Anyway, he told us to take 15 minutes and write a short non-fiction. At first I felt like not talking about personal matters but as soon as I started to write. I couldn't stop. This is my first non-fiction, so don't be harsh :P.
Enjoy~
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It was on repeat. Every morning I try to wake up but I was stuck in my warm and loving bed. Love, was something that I never could have. I would stay in my bed and keep thinking about literally anything. Like the day he told me that everything was going to change.
I remember a day when I was sitting by myself in front of the class. Thinking that I, once again, going to be alone this winter. From the corner of my eye I watched him walk down to the teacher. My voice disappeared when I was about to call out his name. But he didn’t realize. Suddenly, he showed up and said hello as if he did hear me. I waved at him and let him sit beside me. That was when an amazing friendship began.
Few months in we would challenge each other to be the best that we could ever be. We helped each other through thick and thin. We helped each other from the darkest days. Just like that time where I finally opened up to him. I really wanted the crazy life to end. He wouldn’t look at me but then he placed his hand on my back. A warm fuzzy feeling patted away my stressed mind to get it and move on. Never to give up so easily.
It only had been three weeks and I started to ask myself. Do I like you or do I love you? That thought haunted me for months until that one day I thought that everything will be okay.
He wasn’t acting like himself. He noticed as well. We both sat in his strawberry-sunday car. We didn’t talk. I couldn’t hear him breathe or the music that would shuffle on low volume. I stared at him to see if he was looking at me. He wasn’t. He was in his head thinking of something I wouldn’t know about.
“I know you like me.” He chuckled so wonderfully. “It’s written all over your face.”
A breath of relief escaped from my mouth. I was feeling good. I was feeling at peace. My heartbeat decreased to a normal level. I wasn’t nervous, I was just really glad. We decided to get out of the car and hold each other as the sun started to set. Baby blues to a deep orange sky moved the light clouds away. I really wished that the moment would last and stay that way forever.
But that was impossible.
The day that changed everything was a phone call away. Silly me, I even begged him to call me and told him that everything was going to be okay. Nothing, I say, would ever change us. However when I put my phone down my heart sank. My heart wanted to pound itself and cry deeply. My heart was filled with despair and suffocated without the aid of clean air. To be honest I wanted it to suffer and end her existence. Once again, again and again a part of my happiness disintegrated.
That would probably be the last time I was to ever talk to him again. My first month into the summer vacation was dreadful. I was glued to my heated bed. The thick blanket wrapped around me oh so tightly. It didn’t want me to let go like how I didn’t want to let go of him. I was in my cocoon of terrors.
A lot more happened but my mind would remind itself about him and only him.
Even to this day, I still didn’t know if he thought about me the way I thought about him. I could still remember his perfect chuckle, his little jokes, and his protective arms that kept me safe. I miss his warm welcomes and our laughter. I wish I could have a scientific brain to produce a time travelling machine. So that I could go back and tell him...
“Maybe our definitions of love are different but I know deep inside that I really love you.”
However that will never happen. I know that he is still around and maybe our chances of being together went from slim to nothing.
I knew from the way he last talked to me. It was about her, who stole his golden heart.
