You were never mine | Percy Jackson

FINNICK (2014)

Finnick had come to terms with his feelings for Percy a long time ago. And if you told him that time and space away from him would make it better he would accuse you of lying because the feelings hadn't faded away. They were still there, rooted in his heart and growing at a slow pace like a parasite eating his life away.

He thought that the summers not spent with Percy and the suspicion that the young boy was straight would help cure his aching feelings for the black-haired boy. He was quite wrong in that assumption. But what he wasn't wrong with was that Percy was going through something traumatic.

He could see the haunted eyes his best friend had whenever he had the chance to meet up with the younger, just like he could hear the exhaustion in his friend's voice.

Sometimes, Finnick would lie awake and wonder if it was okay for him to kiss his fifteen-year-old friend when he was getting closer to eighteen. It didn't help either that his parents were contemplating the decision to move back to Europe, specifically to Monaco.

"Sounds like a rich people problem." Percy would have probably said if he had been here. But he wasn't and Finnick was all alone in his room while his best friend was probably either at the summer camp or on the run from the government for destroying public goods.

He wished at times that Percy was here with him but Finnick also knew that his friend was no longer only his. Percy had other friends and love interests. Especially if Finnick were to inspect every single new letter that Percy had sent to him. There was a lot of mention of a girl called Annabeth and another girl called Rachel involved in these letters and he didn't know what to think about it.

In one way he felt crushed about it. He didn't have a chance. But in another way, he also felt relief. It all meant that Percy wouldn't be alone by himself when it was time for the Belvedere family to head to Europe permanently.

Finnick remembers an evening when he had laid his head on his mother's lap and asked her if it would be rude for him to leave Percy without saying goodbye and without telling him about his feelings.

The look his mother had given him was enough answer that it would be very rude and impolite to leave without a proper goodbye. After all, it wasn't a secret to Finnick and his family that Percy and Sally would never step foot on an aeroplane no matter if it was a life or death situation.

Who knew that saying goodbye to a loved one could be this difficult? Finnick certainly didn't and he was almost turning eighteen.

Saying goodbye to Percy had been difficult. Especially when those breathtaking sea-green eyes were currently shining due to the tears that were building up.

Finnick didn't know what to do. In some way, he wanted to lightly wipe those tears away from his friend's eyes and tell him that everything was going to be okay. To tell him that he shouldn't waste his tears on someone who didn't deserve those priceless tears. But in another way, he wanted to pull his friend into a kiss. To finally be able to feel how those lips would feel against his. To finally receive the answer to what kind of a lover and kisser Percy would be.

Despite his feelings and wants, Finnick wasn't brave enough to act on them. Instead, he just pulled his friend into a warm hug and told him that no matter the distance they would always be best friends.

He winced at that. He just friend-zoned his crush literally thirty minutes before he's leaving for Europe. In a way, he wanted to punch himself. How could he ever believe anything would happen between them both when he's such a coward?

Oh, if only he had known and if only Percy had known that his life-string had already been cut by the fates.