.-• Kissable Scars.. •-. (Kazuscara<3) (honestly i suck at making titles)

GO SCARA GO!!

~          Scaramouche POV          ~
                    -         ~•~         -

I rushed into my room. I don't know if Kazuha followed me or not. I don't even know what Raiden had asked him. Everything from the cafeteria to here is a blur.

I heard foot steps behind me, so I guess Kazuha did follow me? As expected.

"Hey Scaramouche? Are you okay—?" I sat on my bed as he spoke, shutting my door behind him. He stood in front of me, I couldn't see his face. My gaze was glued to the floor, I could only tell he was in front of me by his shoes.

I remained silent, studying the carpet flooring. I wasn't okay. I was scared. I was disgusted. Nothing had been like this before. That event ruined me. I wasn't soft on anyone and I didn't lash out so easily. People liked me. No, it's more as if people feared me. Maybe they do now, but not for the right reason.

People hate me now, but guess they always have. Heizou just loves to ruin lives. I wonder if there's anyone else in this school that Heizou has raped. I wonder if there's anyone in this school who believes Heizou raped me and not the other way around.

"Can I sit next to you?" I nodded a simple reply. I wasn't in the mood to put up a fight to any requests.

I felt the cushion of the bed sink as Kazuha sat down next to me, our sides almost pressed together. I could feel his uneasiness, but that's fair considering what Heizou had said about me. Now that I think about, I never saw his reaction. I just rushed out of the cafe. I didn't want to see his reaction, and I didn't want to see how disgusted with me he'd be.

"What Heizou said back there.. are you, uh.. alright?" Kazuha said, his voice weak and uncertain. Why should he care how I feel? I don't even know how I feel.

"Were you disgusted by that? Were you disgusted by me?" I asked, my voice just as weak as Kazuha's. I guess I can't blame him, then, otherwise I'd be a hypocrite.

"No! Well— I was disgusted at Heizou for saying that, but not you!" The next part of his exclaim came out softer, almost sympathetic. "Never you. I would never think that way about you." My heart quickened.

I pushed him over on the bed, getting on top of him. "Would you be disgusted with me if I did this?" I ran my hand on his chest underneath his shirt. I watched his eyes grow wide. I watched different emotions flash across his face as he conflicted with himself. Was I like this the first time? No, I'm sure it was different. But most of all, I felt water buildup in my tear ducts. I knew this was wrong. I knew this was wrong to do to him. He was just trying to understand and help me.

His face finally a bit more certain, I felt Kazuha's hand grab my arm, stopping me. I froze. "This isn't like you, Scaramouche." While I'm sure there were more emotions on his face, I was blinded. All I could see was his pity. His fucking pity.

"And how do you know what I'm like?! You've only known me for maybe a month!" My words came out with spite. I knew I should deject my anger or stress onto Kazuha like this, but everything overwhelmed me.

"You're right, I probably don't know you all that well," Kazuha took my shaky hand into his, holding it kindly, "but I know you would never hurt someone the way Heizou hurt you." 'The way Heizou hurt you', it wasn't something I thought I'd hear. Kazuha doesn't even know the whole story!

As much as I'm angry at the white haired boy, I couldn't bring myself to pull away from him, to unlock our hands.

"You don't even know the whole story!" I watched Kazuha's eyebrows scrunch together, but there was a look of patience on his face. Kazuha has had to deal with my stubborn ass for the whole couple weeks we've known each other, and he's never lashed out at me once.

"Then tell me it. Tell me it when you're ready." I felt his grip on my clammy hands tighten even more. He looked.. almost scared?

I embraced him into a hug, my hands rapped around his neck. My face burrowed into the nook of his shoulder. His smell was comforting. It almost smelt like maple syrup, but in a more "natural" way? But not bad.

"I'll tell you the whole story. I will." I whispered into his neck. I wanted to tell him the whole story. I want him to know what Heizou did.

"You don't have to..." I heard Kazuha's sympathetic voice. Did he think I'm forcing myself to tell him? Pfft.

I felt a laugh shake my body, lightening my chest for the first time in a while. "Kazuha. I want to." I didn't depart from the hug, even as I was telling the story.

I felt Kazuha relax a little after I said that, but he still seemed a little tense as he embraced me. "It all started in my 2nd year of junior high." I sighed, bracing myself to tell this story. I don't care if I get nightmares again like last time, I don't care if the nightmares are about more than just the kiss. I don't care. I want Kazuha to know.

"When I was in junior high, me and my old friends had this thing we called "The Fatui". It was basically this weird rank system of bullies. Out of the main ranks, there were 11 of us. I was number 6. It really was cringy now that I'm talking about it, but being in high rank gave you some privileges." I heard a little snort from Kazuha, and make face blushed a little. I burrowed my head deeper into Kazuha's neck. "Shut it."

"Anyways, most people were scared of you if you were in the ranks. Because well, we basically terrorized people lower than us. We were big time bullies." I prepared myself to start talking about Heizou, squeezing Kazuha a bit.

"Sometime in my 2nd year, I met Heizou. He was nice at first. We were actually pretty good... friends. Until one day, the first day this all started." I felt myself tense up, resulting in a hand rubbing my back comfortingly.

"Heizou went to my house, the designated hang out spot between us. But that day wasn't normal. That day, he asked me to kiss him. It seemed innocent enough, but I didn't do it, I didn't like guys and I didn't want to kiss my friend out of the blue like that. That's when he pulled out blackmail. Photos of me smoking, drinking, doing some illegal shit or whatever. So I had no choice but to comply. I gave him what he wanted, a kiss. I didn't think this would happen again, so I just brushed it off. I assumed he got what he wanted."

"You smoked in junior high?" Kazuha seemed a bit nervous. Was he worried for me?

"Yeah. Don't worry though, I don't anymore." I felt Kazuha's body relax a bit. I guess he was just worried.

"Anyhow, I was wrong about that. A couple weeks later, he asked for it again. I did it because of the blackmail, but this time it wasn't a quick peck on the lips. It was a full make out session." I shivered. I hated talking about this. I really did.

"Every couple of weeks or so, he'd asked to come over. The more we met up, the worse his requests got. Even to the point that we were... fucking." I mentally paused after that word. As I told the story, I could almost feel Heizou's slimy hands all over me. But as Kazuha rubbed my back, I felt him fight the hands away. It was nice.

"And sometimes he'd ask for things during lunch and we'd meet up in the classroom. We never really went pass really aggressive kissing when we were at school. He tried to fuck me one time, but we almost got caught and he didn't do it again." I felt like vomiting. I squeezed my eyes shut as I told the rest of the story.

"One day, I guess he got bored of me, because he intentionally provoked me at a time we're at school. He forced me to kiss him, but this time, he recorded us. Well, he more recorded me and kept himself out of the video. So, I punched him. Multiple times. And that's when a teacher walked in on us. Apparently, he just wanted to get me framed for rape and punching him. He succeeded, anyway. I had to leave to a boarding school and never saw him again. That was until this year, at least." I finished my story. I almost felt vile raising in my throat. God, I hated this so fucking much.

I felt a stiff Kazuha next to me. I finally let go from the hug, taking a look at his horrified face. But this time, I was sure he wasn't horrified of me, he was horrified of Heizou.

//-//

Words: 1557

Yipee, I finished this chapter! Sorry for the long wait! But as a little accidental present, you guys get an extra half a chapter! (Ex: my chapters are always around 1000 words, and this time it's over 1500 words.) anyways guys!! Pls don't dox me whenever I don't upload 😬 bye bye 😝😝